Quotes and Sayings about Insurances

Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay, and never get anything back!

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

We all have to live with our disappointments. I have to sleep with mine.

Peggy: "I want sex."
Al: "So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it."

The last thing a guy wants to look at at the end of the day is a woman.

Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.

I, too, am a great believer in love. I want to find it myself some day. Let me give you a little bit of advice: Bed 'em, don't wed 'em. Do 'em, don't woo 'em. Date 'em, don't mate 'em.

Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys: to build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.

The opera isn't over until the last heterosexual falls asleep.

I hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the wife in the backyard.

Peg, if you want this house to look better, dust. If you want it to smell better, cook. If you want it to be happy, leave.

This woman came in and she was so fat she actually had three smaller women orbiting around her.

Men, the one thing they're good for, they're not good at.

I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.

We're Bundys. We don't call the cops. People call them on us.

It's the way it works: Love plus time minus distance equals hate.

A happy marriage doesn't mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you've chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.

Lucy, every marriage is a dance; complicated at times, lovely at times, most the time very uneventful. But with Mickey, there will be times when your dance will be on broken glass. There will be pain. And you will either flee that pain or hold tighter and dance through it to the next smooth place.

Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

Love is not weakness. It is strong. Only the sacrament of marriage can contain it.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.

You've got to have fun in life. Otherwise, wow - imagine life without fun.

Putting a little time aside for clean fun and good humor is very necessary to relieve the tensions of our time.

'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wrong with it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.

My philosophy is: If you can't have fun, there's no sense in doing it.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving.

I wondered if a memory is something you have or something you've lost.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.