The best Quotes by Tony Hawk

I'm seriously going to die right now.

I conside skateboarding an art form, a lifestyle and a sport.

California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.

I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.

It's the edge of the world
And all of Western civilization
The sun may rise in the east
At least it's settled in a final location
It's understood that Hollywood sells Californication

I drank when I was pregnant with you, you turned out fine. There's everybody saying 'don't drink, don't smoke'. I swear - Texas is turning into California.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Concussions aren't great, but as long as you have them before you're 50, it's cool. And Knoxville's 49, so we're good.

Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.

I think I'm a little concussed.

You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.

There's no such thing as a "pretty good" gator wrestler!

They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I'm not sure of what that means, but I like it.

Bam Margera: "Oh, dude! My f*cking tailbone is seriously broken! I'm not even kidding!"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"

You can't be careful on a skateboard.

Turns out, when you projectile vomit on skates, you roll right into the spray.

Skateboarding helps a ton with balance, precision, with air awareness... it gets your senses to be spot-on and it's also a great way to take my mind off things.

So, we've driven an hour north from Miami to Boca Raton, believe it or not, to film Steve-O jump into nine days worth of elephant poo.

Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that!

Now I know what it feels like to be my liver!

Oh dude, you look like an egg with legs!

Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "f-" by the end of this movie.

Bam Margera: "Now these rocket skates are going to be a little different than the last."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."

I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.

It's like when your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed." You know that hurt so much more.

I am so glad I turned this idea down!

Hi, I'm Ryan Dunn, and I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl.

Steve-O: "We wanted to see if you would run."
Ryan Dunn: "I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt."

That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town.

Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.

I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete f*cking idiot!

Johnny Knoxville: "Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?"
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.