The best Quotes by Dick Van Dyke

I pay attention to the news. I take the 'New York Times.' I do the Saturday crossword.

When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late '40s. And just through necessity, going out looking for work, I was starting to sing, and dance, and act, and I never expected to do that, nor to have any success at it at least.

When you're a kid, you lay in the grass and watch the clouds going over, and you literally don't have a thought in your mind. It's purely meditation, and we lose that.

Just knowing you don't have the answers is a recipe for humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and an eagerness to learn - and those are all good things.

The American people hit the streets and did something that the government wouldn't do: the Civil Rights Act. It didn't go down well with the corporate world.

Ethel: "One day the entire family will be reunited in the Garden of Eden."
"Oh, like heaven?"
Ethel: "No, it's in Missouri."
"Oh. Eden's got a lot of methheads."

Did you know only one US president has been born in Missouri?
It's true, man.

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Missouri - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Happiness is like a cloud, if you stare at it long enough, it evaporates.

Rivers do not drink their own water. Trees do not eat their own fruit. And clouds do not swallow their own rain. What great ones have is always for the benefit of others.

Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.

I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.