The best Quotes by Kevin Nealon

The best Quotes by Kevin Nealon

Kevin Nealon (born November 18, 1953) is an American stand-up comedian and actor.

I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper.
Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
I do have a place in my heart for animal shelters because the job they have is impossible - so many animals that need to euthanized because don't have homes for them.
Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
My heart started running away, like a pack of horses. Then it slowed down and became irregular.

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Ethel: "One day the entire family will be reunited in the Garden of Eden."
"Oh, like heaven?"
Ethel: "No, it's in Missouri."
"Oh. Eden's got a lot of methheads."
Shameless - Season 2 Episode 5
Did you know only one US president has been born in Missouri?
It's true, man.
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Missouri - and that's pretty much the same thing.
One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.
Joe Biden - März 2024
What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.
I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.
When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

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