The best Quotes by Rita Rudner

The best Quotes by Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner (born September 17, 1953) is an American comedian. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned to stand-up comedy, where she has flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premier comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.

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Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky, and a dog to eat the rare steak.
1
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.
Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11
5
There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.
Grüner Kobold in Spider-Man
2
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York
Frank Sinatra - New York, New York
2
Manhattan, for millions of our forefathers, the gateway to hope, opportunity and happiness beyond their wildest dreams. Today, that hope is still alive, it's called "The First Date". On Saturday nights, every restaurant in Lower Manhattan resembles its own little Ellis Island.
Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 3
2
I want to wake up in that city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap
Frank Sinatra - New York, New York
1
In a city that moves so fast, you get the Sunday paper on Saturday - how did any of us know how much time we had left?
Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 5
1
We are New Yorkers. Proud citizens of the greatest city on earth. Thinking big isn't new to us. It is the very foundation of who we are.
Regardless of our differences, this was still New York. A melting pot crammed onto an island, then pushed into a subway car with a rat eating pizza. You're not left or right. You're a New f*cking Yorker and we're in this together.
Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show - Debates Anti-Vax Mandate Protesters in NYC
Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat!
I don't wanna f*ck it up because one of us didn't prepare for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!
Michael Lawson in Uncoupled - Season 1 Episode 1
Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.
2
Men always want to be a woman's first love. What women like is to be a man's last romance.
7
Hey, if you got a second - stop staring at my boobs!
Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1
2
Back boobs! The visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style... patent pending.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 20
2
When you find a man you wish to marry, Tessa, remember this: You will know what kind of man he is not by the things he says, but by the things he does.
9
Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.
8
A woman who doesn't wear perfume has no future.
3
A woman's perfume tells more about her than her handwriting.
2
It's the way it works: Love plus time minus distance equals hate.
1
Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone.
59
A happy marriage doesn't mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you've chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.
6
Lucy, every marriage is a dance; complicated at times, lovely at times, most the time very uneventful. But with Mickey, there will be times when your dance will be on broken glass. There will be pain. And you will either flee that pain or hold tighter and dance through it to the next smooth place.
5
One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.
Joe Biden - März 2024

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