The best Quotes by Ron White

The best Quotes by Ron White

Ronald Dee White (born December 18, 1956) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and author, best known as a charter member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Nicknamed "Tater Salad", he is the author of the book I Had the Right to Remain Silent But I Didn't Have the Ability, which appeared on the New York Times best seller list.

There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Donald Trump - and I don't dislike Donald one single bit - has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
I've known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it - Jeffrey enjoys his social life.
In order to make America great and glorious again, I am tonight announcing my candidacy for president of the United States.
Donald Trump - November 2022
I'm not going to say it right now. So, everybody, I promise you, in the very next - very, very, very short period of time, you're going to be so happy.
Donald Trump - November 2022, implies he's rerunning for President in 2024 elections
If you want to stop the destruction of our country and save the American dream, then this Tuesday you must vote Republican in a giant way.
Donald Trump - November 2022
You see the mob takes the Fifth. If you're innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?
Donald Trump - May 2017
Who's the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?
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I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots.
22
That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fck up for a minute and comfortably share the silence.
Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction
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To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.
10
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
I've noticed that worrying is like praying for what you don't want to happen.
Becky Feder: "Daddy! Where is it taking them?"
Marcus Higgins: "Hell."
Lenny Feder: "Higgins. Don't say that."
Marcus Higgins: "Oh I'm sorry. Not Hell... Mexico."
Marcus Higgins in Grown Ups
A tortilla is either corn or wheat. But a corn tortilla folded and filled is a taco, whereas a filled wheat tortilla is a burrito. Deep fry a burrito, it's a chimichanga. Toast a tortilla, it's a tostada. Roll it, it's an enchilada.
Emma in One Day
There's some nights I can't remember with friends I can't forget.
There is more to life than parties. There are also afterparties.
Potatoes become french fries, chips and vodka. I'm starting to think that other vegetables aren't really trying.
1
It can take a lifetime to discover vodka, but only an instant to fall in love with it.
Life is a lemon and I want my money back.
You take the sourest lemon that life has to offer and turn it into something resembling lemonade.
Dr. Nathan Katowsky in This Is Us - Season 1 Episode 1
Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.
Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017
One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".
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To never be sick can't be healthy.
F*ck reason - long live the nonsense!
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.
Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.
Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

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