The best Quotes by Rik Mayall

The best Quotes by Rik Mayall

Richard Michael Mayall (7 March 1958 – 9 June 2014) was an English comedian, actor and writer. He formed a close partnership with Ade Edmondson while they were students at Manchester University and was a pioneer of alternative comedy in the 1980s.

I've always had live audiences.
With 1,000-seater venues, rather than 5,000-seaters, there are richer opportunities for sucking the audience in.
I had a very happy childhood, happy teenage years and I was famous by the time I was 22. A charmed life.
Something that has been important to me is never to repeat myself, never to go back.
I don't have moments of weakness. I'm Rik Mayall.

You might like these Quotes aswell

To criticize a person for their race is manifestly irrational and ridiculous, but to criticize their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom.
I have always worried about things more than I should.
Mr. Bean is essentially a child trapped in the body of a man. All cultures identify with children in a similar way, so he has this bizarre global outreach.
Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large, you'd think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me - and THIS pencil.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
There hasn't been a war run this badly since Olaf the hairy, King of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
He's madder than Mad Jack McMad, the winner of last year's Mr Madman competition.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Your brain is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Pitt the Younger: "I intend to put my own brother up as a candidate against you."
Blackadder: "And which Pitt would this be? Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the Glint in the Milkman's Eye?"
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Lord Flashheart: "Enter the man who has no underwear. Ask me why."
Others: "Why do you have no underwear, Lord Flash?"
Lord Flashheart: "Because the pants haven't been built yet that'll take the job on."
Lord Flashheart in Blackadder
Baldrick: "I have a plan, sir."
Blackadder: "Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?"
Baldrick: "Yes, sir."
Blackadder: "As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?"
The suspect has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off his neck. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head off.
Baldrick: "I love my mum."
Blackadder: "And I love chops in sauce but I don't seek their advice."
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Oh, Edmund. I do love it when you get cross. Sometimes I think about having you executed, just to see the expression on your face.
Queenie in Blackadder
Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Samuel Johnson: "This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language."
Blackadder: "Every single one, sir?"
Samuel Johnson: "Every single word, sir."
Blackadder: "Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities."
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Baldrick, you wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing "subtle plans are here again".
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
It is strange with how little notice, good, bad, or indifferent, a man may live and die in London.
1
If you're curious, London's an amazing place.
1
I've often thought a blind man could find his way through London simply by gauging the changes in innuendo: mild through Trafalgar Square, less veiled towards the river.
Louis Bayard - Mr. Timothy
I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.
London. The beating heart of England.
England is my home. London is my home. New York feels like, if I have to spend a year living in an unfamiliar city, this is a pretty lovely one to spend a year in, but I will be going home at the end of it, certainly.
Fashion needs fresh blood, and London is the most creative place for that.
Look at London or Paris: they're both filthy. You don't get that in Tokyo. The proud residents look after their city.

Related pages to Rik Mayall

The best Quotes by Rowan AtkinsonRowan AtkinsonQuotes and Sayings about LondonLondonThe best Quotes from BlackadderBlackadderThe best Quotes and SayingsPeople