The best Quotes by Carol Burnett

When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged.

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

Dante: "[seeing a Confederate flag] What? Are you serious?"
Lila: "Newsflash, we're in deep Texas."

The stars at night, are big and bright,
deep in the heart of Texas,
The prairie sky is wide and high,
deep in the heart of Texas.

Of course, nobody I knew in East-Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian Physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

When a Texan gets knocked off a horse, he gets right back on. That is the second most important thing about bein' a Texan, right after thinkin' you're better than everybody else.

"Did you grow up in Texas?"
Meemaw: "Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat."

Sheldon: "Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference?"
Meemaw: "Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk."

Amy: "Lino's reinventing Thanksgiving."
Zora: "Oh, good. 'Cause if there's anything Texans love, it's different sh-t."

Since you went away
I bet you missed your exit
And drove right on through the Lone Star state
There's a seat for you at the rodeo
And I've got every slow dance saved
Besides the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway

In Texas, it's football. In Georgia, football. There's an appreciation from the average person about football more than anywhere else. And we have that for basketball in New York. And we'll always have that in New York.

Lila: "So, Richter, why are you such a nihilist?"
Richter: "A what?"
Lila: "I mean, anyone who blasts diesel into the atmosphere like that, truly gives zero f-s about like anything."
Richter: "I'm a Texan. I don't like people telling me what to do. Especially smug, self-righteous, rich, city folk."

In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans.

Are you really a Texan? I mean, really? If I have a headache, I'd put bacon around an Aspirin before I take it.

Football is to Texas what religion is to a priest.

Don't mess with Texas!

Texas has long been known as the nation's largest energy producer, but we are equally proud of our distinction as the nation's leading energy innovator.

You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians.

Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain. Because life's greatest lessons are learned through pain.

The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed.

Death is Peaceful, Life is Harder.

Well you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him!

Doesn't matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point: All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward, it's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

It's just that... I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is.

The marks humans leave are too often scars.

Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.

Where words are scarse, they are seldome spent in vaine.

Trying to write about love is ultimately like trying to have a dictionary represent life. No matter how many words there are, there will never be enough.

After all, only so much we can say,
words can lose their meaning, once you walk away.

Poetry, she thought, wasn't written to be analyzed, it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding.

A living poem had always been the words that came to mind when he tried to describe her to others.

Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it.

Word to the wise writer: never underestimate your secondary characters! But watch them... they sneak off with stuff.

Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

I think relationships are broken up because of the media.

I try to lie as much as I can when I'm interviewed. It's reverse psychology. I figure if you lie, they'll print the truth.

Television and the media are everywhere and they are taking over so powerfully. They don't shut up for a second. So you are unable to think.

The hardest thing to do is work hard when no one is watching.

Makes muscles - not excuses!

Do 40 hard minutes, not an hour and a half of nonsense.

You'll have time to rest when you're dead.

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.