The best Quotes by Debbie Gallagher

I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need any more character!

Sheila: "Now, by sifting we separate and aerate those flour particles to make them absorb liquids better."
Deb: "Someone should sift my dad."

You can’t drink him away. It won’t work.

Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical, and my money's been on you.

I love you. It means we take care of each other. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is f*ck you!

Love is not supposed to be cute. Love is supposed to be raw and destructive.

Jenna dances for an audience. You dance like there's no one else in the room. You life's not simple, Fiona, and you can't stop it from showing because you're no fake. You're not lost. You don't need finding. This whole city belongs to the Jennas, I'm sick of them. I swear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again.

If God didn't want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.

Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.

Sometimes when people love each other very much, they need time apart, so when they come back together, their love is even stronger.

You did okay, Mickey. You know, you tried. That’s a lot more than most people would do.

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.

Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"

Been sleeping in this car six years. Pissed, puked, jizzed in it. By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.

Kate: "Fishing? Gonna use your tiny dick as a worm?"
Frank: "I've caught some big whales with this little worm. Yourself included there, Moby."

You get along a lot better with a weapon and a kind word than a kind word alone.

That's the Gallagher sperm. Ambitious, relentless. Everything we're not once we're born. Like heat-seeking, baby-making missiles. Won't be long before the country's nothing but Mexicans and Gallaghers.

Every day you wake up breathing, you should be coloring me a note of gratitude that the half of you that came from me wasn't spooged on your mother's neck, but instead was guided by yours truly to get up inside of her to start the life of you.

I am fed up with these pan-gender hermaphrodites who hate that human beings are a species with two distinct genders. It's like they've declared war on testicles. They wanna remove all the masculinity from the schools, fill the world with yogurt-eaters.

We all have our phobias and school is mine. All of it. Textbooks full of falsehoods, teachers unions full of thugs, and tenured imbeciles who still use words like "irregardless".

I don't go onto Facebook because I don't give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the f*cking McDonald's.

Frank: "Why you gotta be such an asshole?"
Lip: "Apple fell where you dropped it."

Lip: "You really wanna get your ass shot off in some 'stan somewhere?"
Ian: "'Stan?"
Lip: "Yeah, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraqistan."

Karen: "Why do we help people we hate?"
Lip: "I believe we're just taking our cue from American foreign policy."

Oh, Warren, once again proving that Koreans are the Asian Jews.

I'm not a pedo. And if I was, you'd be safe, you tubby little ginger c*nt.

Ron: "I have not got spattergroit!"
Healer: "But the unsightly blemishes upon your visage, young master -"
Ron: "They're freckles!"

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human.

The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed.

Seriosly, I don't mean to be an asshole, it's just... genetic.

I kind of have no choice. I gotta find Frank. Get him sober and ready to appear in court. He's like my sad-ass Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I'm sorry, but no one speaking English as a first language should be doing this job.

Frank: "Four-month-old baby, 14-year-old girl, 11-year-old Lip, 10-year-old Ian, a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a Dodge Astro van. What's the one thing that we needed? One word. One thing."
Jimmy: "Sterilization."

Too many Gallaghers in the world already. Instead of passing rubbers out at your school, they should be passing them out at your house.

Frank: "It's not sex if you can't remember it."
Kev: "Ha. Then you're a virgin, Frank."

Teenagers. They're hormon-soaked brains aren't wired to think about anyone other than themselves.

Clare: "Thank you. God loves you."
Veronica: "Yeah, if that were true, he'd have made me white and rich."

You're like a f*cking cockroach, able to live anywhere and feed off anything.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in getting what we want, that we forget to ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place.

Sometimes when people love each other very much, they need time apart, so when they come back together, their love is even stronger.

Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.

You can't lose your virginity to a tampon. It has to be a penis with a man attached.

The good parts of love are so good, you're willing to suffer an unbelievable amount of pain just to get to them. That's why I have been married three times and engaged 12.

Lanier: "Your body is a temple, Carl, and you only want to put things in it that are natural."
Carl: "Like fists? I saw it in that movie."