The best Quotes by Missy Cooper

Connie: "Does he even know you like him?"
Missy: "I don't know. I've ignored him, been mean to him. What else can I do?"

Missy Cooper: "I don't want to die, I've only kissed one boy so far."
Mary Cooper: "What?!"
Missy Cooper: "Relax, it was a long time ago."

I actually enjoyed being alone, solitude allowed me to think about important things.

Of course, nobody I knew in East-Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian Physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

Whoa, and the '70s are back. All we need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms and it's Studio 54.

When a Texan gets knocked off a horse, he gets right back on. That is the second most important thing about bein' a Texan, right after thinkin' you're better than everybody else.

Butterflies are just worms that can chase you.

Sweat is the urine of the skin.

"Did you grow up in Texas?"
Meemaw: "Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat."

Sheldon: "Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference?"
Meemaw: "Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk."

George: "As soon as I graduate High-School, I'm gonna be a professional male-model."
Meemaw: "That is hilarious."
George: "What? I'm good looking."
Meemaw: "No, that you think you'll graduate High-School."

What if Einstein's parents had held him back? We wouldn't even have the... - I was gonna say "atomic bomb", but there's probably a better example.

I drank when I was pregnant with you, you turned out fine. There's everybody saying 'don't drink, don't smoke'. I swear - Texas is turning into California.

The average American consumes 55 pounds of beef per year. And then there's Texas, where we can knock that off in a couple of months. Maybe faster if we're talking about smoked brisket.

Dr. Eberland: "I'll write you a prescription for Zantac. Does he smoke?"
Mary Cooper: "Of course not, he's nine."
Dr. Eberland: "I started at his age. But only when I drank."

George: "Everybody knows you pun on fourth down."
Sheldon: "Why does everybody knowing something make it right?"
George: "Because... that's what makes this country great."
Sheldon: "Many years later, my brother would use the same argument in front of a judge. He was still convicted for urinating in a phone booth."

I don't need a calculator, dad. I am one.

In Texas, the holy trinity is God, Football and barbecue. Not necessarily in that order.

Meemaw: "What's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart."
Sheldon: "That changes everything, how do you know who to trust?"
Meemaw: "You don't. That's what makes life interesting."

Science fact: Sisters are the worst.

Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study the apes. I just had to go to dinner.

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

Leonard: "I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle..."
Sheldon: "Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word 'plenty' has been redefined to mean 'two.'"

Oh, gravity, thou art a heartless b*tch!

Leonard: "The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition."
Sheldon: "...with certain obvious exceptions. Suicide for example!"

Quantum physics makes me so happy. It's like looking at the universe naked.

'See you in hell Sheldon'? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma!

Sheldon: "I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity."
Penny: "Oh God!"
Sheldon: "Yes, exactly."

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.

Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"

Been sleeping in this car six years. Pissed, puked, jizzed in it. By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.