The best Quotes by Howard Wolowitz

Leonard: "You owe me another two dollars, the price of moo shu pork went up."
Howard: "It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."

The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 14

Judaism Pigs

Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray.

The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 3

Is it 'cause I'm Jewish? 'Cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.

The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 15

Judaism

Howard: "You were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator."
Rajesh: "I thought we were going to be gentle with him."
Howard: "That's why I added the 'tator'!"

The Big Bang Theory - Season 3 Episode 1

Howard: "You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin."
Sheldon: "Why?"
Howard: "Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me."

The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 17

Howard: "Good news, gentlemen - I found our hacker."
Leonard: "Really?"
Howard: "Yeah, no one can hide from me. Not Waldo, not Carmen San Diego, not even topless Natalie Portman."

The Big Bang Theory - Season 4 Episode 19

Natalie Portman

Sheldon: "Hey, look, I found my missing neutrino."
Howard: "Oh good, we can take it off the milk carton..."

The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 4

Physics

Marty: "Thanks for going to outer space, so no matter what I do, my mum will be disappointed in me."
Howard: "Well, I married a little catholic girl, so we're even."

The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 10

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That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 11

California

Physics answers the question, "What is the nature of the universe?" Geology answers the question, "What'd I just trip over?"

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 7

Physics

Sheldon: "Why do people cry at weddings?"
Mary: "They're practicing for what's coming later."

Mary Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 10 Episode 1

This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 3 Episode 22

Leonard: "I can't believe you've never seen 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'."
Penny: "And I can't believe you've never read 'Eat, Pray, Love'."
Leonard: "When she comes out with 'Eat, Pray, Run away from a giant boulder', I'll read it."

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 4 Episode 8

Gosh, Amy, I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because, like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Bernadette Rostenkowski in The Big Bang Theory

Quantum physics makes me so happy. It's like looking at the universe naked.

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 5 Episode 20

Universe Physics Quantum Mechanics

'See you in hell Sheldon'? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma!

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 5 Episode 7

Rajesh: "I don't know if I want to play anymore."
Sheldon: "Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good Lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble."

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 5 Episode 4

Dungeons & Dragons Pen & Paper

Sheldon: "At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?"
Leonard: "At the hands of your roommate?"
Sheldon: "An accident."
Leonard: "That's how I'm going to make it look."

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 4 Episode 2

Sheldon: "I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity."
Penny: "Oh God!"
Sheldon: "Yes, exactly."

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 4 Episode 1

Raj: "Hey, look, I found an iPod!"
Howard: "Smashed beyond repair - what are you going to do with it?"
Raj: "What else? Sell it on ebay as 'slightly used'."

Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 17

eBay

Leonard: "I don't think I can go out with her tonight."
Sheldon: "Then don't."
Leonard: "Other people would say, 'Why not?'"
Sheldon: "Other people might be interested."

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 17

Penny: "Leonard isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with."
Sheldon: "Leonard isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with."

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 17

Penny: "Yes, I will go out with you."
Leonard: "Really?"
Penny: "Yeah. Why not? I mean, what do I have to lose?"
Leonard: "Yeah. That's the spirit!"

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 17

You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles

Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory - Season 5 Episode 1

Sex Ice Cream

Penny: "What a cute, little store... everybody's staring at me?"
Leonard: "Don't worry, they're more scared of you, than you are of them."

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 20

This physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week and orders an ice cream sundae for himself, and then offers one to the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner finally asks him what he's doing. The man says, "Well, I'm a physicist, and quantum mechanics teaches us, that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me." The owner then says, "Lots of single, beautiful women come in here ever day. Buy an ice cream for one of them, and they might fall in love with you." And the physicist says, "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?!"

Penny in The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 19

Physics Quantum Mechanics

I love the smell of paintballs in the morning.

Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 16

My expenses account for 46.9% of my after-tax income. The rest is divided up between a small savings account, this deceptive container of peanut brittle and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure who shall remain nameless for his own protection... or HER own protection.

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 14

Leonard: "Penny's taking you to the DMV, I'm going to bed."
Sheldon: "Why Penny?"
Leonard: "Because rock breaks scissors."

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 5

Penny

You tell people I'm a rocket scientist? My God! Why don't you just tell them that I'm a toll-taker at the Golden Gate Bridge?

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 15

Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.

Natalie Portman

Intelligence Men & Women Singles & Dating

I think school is so much harder than real life. People are so much more accepting when they are adults.

Natalie Portman

School Bullying

Star Wars hasn't changed my life at all.

Natalie Portman

Quotes about Star Wars

I'm going to college. I don't care if it ruins my career. I'd rather be smart than a movie star.

Natalie Portman

College

Jewish holidays are all about food... and celebrating not getting annihilated by our enemies.

Dina in The Last of Us - Part II

Judaism

Jewish communities are warning their members to avoid specific places for their own safety - today, here in Germany, almost 80 years after the Holocaust.

Robert Habeck - November 2023

Judaism Holocaust 2023

For a while I thought I could un-Jew myself. Then I realized that being Jewish is not in the ritual or the action. It is in one's history. I am proud of being Jewish.

Deborah Feldmann in Unorthodox

Judaism

Pigs are like big chubby dogs you can eat at christmas.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight) - Prison Heat

Pigs

Physics is the attempt of humanity to understand the world. However it is a real good attempt.

Physics

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 2

Sarcasm

Sheldon: "I'm not quite sure. It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me."
Leonard: "That narrows it down."

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 4

Penny: "You know, it's a Cheesecake Factory... people order cheesecake and I bring it to them."
Leonard: "So you kind of act as like a carbohydrate delivery system?"
Penny: "Yeah, call it whatever you want, I get minimum wage."

Penny in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 2

Leonard: "The only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Raj in half."
Rajesh: "Sure, cut the foreigner in half. There's a billion more where he came from."

Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 7

Penny: "Wow, a girl scientist."
Leslie: "Yep, come for the breast, stay for the brains."

Leslie Winkle in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 5

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Howard Wolowitz

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