The best Quotes from How I Met Your Father

Ever since Meredith dumped you, I've been spending 50 bucks a week on kleenex.

I was really into hula hooping growing up. My mom said I had the loosest hips in Cincinnati. Which I'm now realizing is a very disturbing thing to say to a young child.

You think Queen Jane stays in on a Saturday night? No, she's out in the town - crushing d-ck.

This story is about the journey, not the destination. I'm gonna get with a whole bunch of dudes before I wind up with Dad.

Magic love story? Sophie's mom is a party girl who bounces around from boyfriend to boyfriend. Her dad wasn't even in the picture. The only thing magical about Sophie's life is that she still believes in love at all.

I am super into him, and I decided I am not gonna let something as irrational as rational thinking stand in the way of that.

Now, like a lot of love stories back in 2022, this one starts with a Tinder date.

Sid: "Valentina's trying to help her girl get with my boy."
Jesse: "Sophie did say my shirt was cool."
Sid: "Most compliments are sure to get into the pants."

It was a total score. We got the appartement from this old married couple who posted it on the Wesleyan Alumni Group. Even got them to leave their swords.

Screw being mature! We can still make bad choices for a few more years.

It was hard to live in the moment in 2022. There was always someplace else you could be. Someone else you could be with. But every once in a while, you found yourself in the exact right spot.

This is the story of how I met your father.

Repeat after me: Today is the first chapter of my next great love story.

Look at that, a proposal that won't haunt and traumatize him forever. Good for him.

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

I don't want to give it all away and the script is definitely being changed a little bit. But it does tie in and, you know, hopefully, we'll have some fun guest appearances from the original cast.

Happiness is no mystery
It's here and now
It's you and me

My mom always says, "If you don't believe in something, you'll lose yourself completely."

Have you ever wondered what life is about?
You could search the world and never figure it out

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams
Let it wash away my sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder, I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean

If you wanna spend money to have a shitty night, just go on a Tinder date: "Oh, wow. That's so interesting. I've never met anyone who likes to travel before."

Please don't create any review videos for 2022 - going through it once was enough for me.

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

Quinn: "In the event of divorce, Miss Garvey shall get full custody of Mr. Stinson's suits."
Barney: "Why? What would you do with them?"
Quinn: "Nothing. I'd just sit around and watch them go out of style."