Quote by Homer Simpson (about Beer)

Quote by Homer Simpson (about Beer)

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 10

3

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To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

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If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

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This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

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I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

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All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

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This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.

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Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

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Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

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Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

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Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.

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Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

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If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.

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Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".

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Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

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America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

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Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?

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Good things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".

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When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

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I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."

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Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

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It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized... It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to... In L.A., I'm just another character actor.

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Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

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I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I'm acting.

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I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think that Homer is all that I do.

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My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!

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Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"

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We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.

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On victory, you deserve beer.
On defeat, you need it.

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In heaven there's no beer, so let's just drink it here.

1

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Homer Simpson

Dan Castellaneta

The Simpsons

Beer

Marge Simpson

Cletus Spuckler

Abraham Simpson

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