Quotes by Homer Simpson

Quotes by Homer Simpson

If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

Gun-ControlHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5
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When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5
 
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Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
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Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

MarriageHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
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I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: 'Cover for me.'
Number 2: 'Oh, good idea, Boss!'
Number 3: 'It was like that when I got here.'

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
 
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Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
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I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 3
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Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 18
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If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

AmericaHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
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No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake ID's.

BeerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 10
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Where's the 'any key'? Hm... I think I order a 'tab'.

Beer, ComputerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
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To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

AlcoholHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 18
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