Quotes by Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson is a character from The Simpsons

Quotes by Homer Simpson

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Alcohol, ToastsHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 18
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If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

Weapons, NRAHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5
3
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This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

USA, FoodHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 24 Episode 5
3
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I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 3
3
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No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake ID's.

BeerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 10
3
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All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Alcohol, Beer, BrainHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
3
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Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

MarriageHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 14 Episode 2
2
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Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
2
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Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 18
2
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Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
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Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

Weddings, MarriageHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
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If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.

USAHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
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Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".

Beer, ComputerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
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Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

TelevisionHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
 
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America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

USAHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
 
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Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?

USA, OperasHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
 
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Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.

BeerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
 
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When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5
 
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I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
 
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