If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.
Gun-ControlHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.
Homer Simpson in The SimpsonsI want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."
Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.
Homer Simpson in The SimpsonsI am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 3Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 18If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
AmericaHomer Simpson in The SimpsonsNo son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake ID's.
BeerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 10To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
AlcoholHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 18All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Alcohol, Foolishness, BeerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons