The best Quotes by Homer Simpson

The best Quotes by Homer Simpson

Homer Jay Simpson is a fictional character and the main protagonist of the American animated sitcom The Simpsons. He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18
If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.
The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5
This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.
The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 5
I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 3
No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 10
All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.
The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 4
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
The Simpsons - Season 14 Episode 2
Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.
Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 18
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.
Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?
Good things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."

Quotes about Homer Simpson

My standard comment is, "If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson."

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My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!
Abraham Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 19
Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"
We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.
Cletus Spuckler in The Simpsons - Season 18 Episode 14
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized... It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to... In L.A., I'm just another character actor.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don’t care for human beings.
On victory, you deserve beer.
On defeat, you need it.
Everything's better with some wine in the belly.
Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones - Season 1 Episode 2
If you gave back every stolen artifact from a museum, you'd be left with an empty building.
Commander Rourke in Atlantis - The Lost Empire
It's the way it works: Love plus time minus distance equals hate.
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?
Here's to the nights that turned into mornings,
and the friends that turned into family!
Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap.
Why can't we us thoughts and prayers to protect the border? It's what we use to protect our schools.
You know the thing about good food? It brings folks together from all walks of life.

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