To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
Alcohol, ToastsHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 18If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.
Weapons, NRAHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.
USA, FoodHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 24 Episode 5I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 3No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
BeerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 10All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Alcohol, Beer, BrainHomer Simpson in The SimpsonsThis room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.
MuseumsHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 24 Episode 4Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
MarriageHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 14 Episode 2Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.
Homer Simpson in The SimpsonsKids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 18Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.
Homer Simpson in The SimpsonsMarriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Weddings, MarriageHomer Simpson in The SimpsonsIf you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.
USAHomer Simpson in The SimpsonsAmerica's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
USAHomer Simpson in The SimpsonsOoh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?
USA, OperasHomer Simpson in The SimpsonsGood things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".
MuseumsHomer Simpson in The SimpsonsWhen I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."