The best Quotes by Homer Simpson

The best Quotes by Homer Simpson

Homer Jay Simpson is a fictional character and the main protagonist of the American animated sitcom The Simpsons. He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18

11

If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5

3

This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 5

3

I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 3

3

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 10

3

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

The Simpsons

3

Alcohol Beer Brain

This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.

The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 4

2

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

The Simpsons - Season 14 Episode 2

2

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

The Simpsons

2

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 18

2

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.

The Simpsons

1

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

The Simpsons

1

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

The Simpsons

1

Weddings Marriage

If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.

The Simpsons

1

Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".

The Simpsons

1

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

The Simpsons

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

The Simpsons

Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?

The Simpsons

Good things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".

The Simpsons

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."

The Simpsons

Quotes about Homer Simpson

My standard comment is, "If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson."

Matt Groening

Bart Simpson Upbringing

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My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!

Abraham Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 19

4

Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"

Marge Simpson in The Simpsons

We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.

Cletus Spuckler in The Simpsons - Season 18 Episode 14

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Dan Castellaneta

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized... It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to... In L.A., I'm just another character actor.

Dan Castellaneta

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Dan Castellaneta

If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don’t care for human beings.

Nelson Mandela

3

On victory, you deserve beer.
On defeat, you need it.

Napoléon Bonaparte

2

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones - Season 1 Episode 2

9

If you gave back every stolen artifact from a museum, you'd be left with an empty building.

Commander Rourke in Atlantis - The Lost Empire

1

It's the way it works: Love plus time minus distance equals hate.

Louis C. K. - 2017

1

Relationships Marriage

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?

Matt Groening

Here's to the nights that turned into mornings,
and the friends that turned into family!

Toasts Festivals Raves

Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap.

Albert Einstein

18

Humanity Weapons Nuclear Weapons

I feel like I've got feet firmly in different camps. Between the right of gun ownership and public safety.

You know the thing about good food? It brings folks together from all walks of life.

James in The Princess and the Frog

15

Related pages to Homer Simpson

The Simpsons

Dan Castellaneta

Quotes about The United States of America

USA

Beer

The best Toasts for your night out - Cheers!

Quotes about the NRA & Gun-Control

NRA