Kids don't do what their parents say - they do what they see their parents do. So who was to blame here?
Sure, on a larger scale, it was healthy to have people out there you cared about more than yourself. She knew that. But then there was the abject fear you would lose it. They say possessions own you. Not so. Loved ones own you. You are forever held hostage once you care so much.
Trust is like that. You can break it for a good reason. But it still remains broken.