The best Quotes from History of the World, Part I

Annual orgy and buffet
First served, first come

God knew, that the Jews were going to go through some shit. So he made one in ten of us crazy to keep the others entertained.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.