Look, with the number of whelps I've sired, I think I've earned the right to make a dad joke or two.
Heroes of the Storm, by DeathwingThe thing no one tells you about sitting on a Frozen Throne, is how much of your flesh ends up stuck to it.
Heroes of the Storm, by Arthas MenethilThe most important thing I've learned in all my journeys is... balance. Work and play. Good and bad. Right and wrong. Honor. Tradition. A good brew. And most especially... family. These are things that bring me balance. These are the things I fight for.
Heroes of the Storm, by Chen StormstoutDoes anyone know when these spikes grew out of my back? You would think I would remember something like that.
Heroes of the Storm, by Gul'danThose with power must wield it without fear. And if that power allows you to cast fear upon others, well that's a nice bonus.
Heroes of the Storm, by Gul'danI once was the head of a secretive council that controlled the Orcish Horde from the shadows. I called it... the Shadow Council. Shut up, naming things is hard!
Heroes of the Storm, by Gul'danI love big tusks and I cannot lie.
Heroes of the Storm, by Garrosh HellscreamAnger management? I'm great at managing people with my anger!
Heroes of the Storm, by Garrosh HellscreamIt doesn't matter how many times my enemies try to kill me, I'm still not dropping the Tusks of Mannoroth! They're mine!
Heroes of the Storm, by Garrosh HellscreamThis is my war song. Take back my Horde song. Prove all my might song.
Heroes of the Storm, by Garrosh HellscreamI love playing Hearthstone! I can send Varian to his death as many times as I want!
Heroes of the Storm, by Garrosh HellscreamJust to be clear, all the loot we get from this is mine. I need it. For, uhm... hunter reasons.
Heroes of the Storm, by RexxarBy the way, every time you've ever been beaten by a hunter... That was actually me.
Heroes of the Storm, by RexxarSome believe hunting with a bow to be the ultimate challenge. They should try it with an axe.
Heroes of the Storm, by RexxarAtiesh, Greatstaff of the Guardian, is a unique and powerful artifact passed down from Guardian to apprentice for generations. Pay no attention to that druid holding another one. Or that priest. Or Khadgar. In fact, never pay attention to Khadgar.
Heroes of the Storm, by MedivhThe spell is called "polymorph" because with a little practice, you can technically transform someone into any animal. Most mages are simply too sheepish to give it a try.
Heroes of the Storm, by MedivhNo, you don't need to stay awhile and listen. You must have me confused with someone else.
Heroes of the Storm, by MedivhMost people don't realize that Illidan and I were actually triplets. Poor Buenofurion.
Heroes of the Storm, by Malfurion StormrageYou know what they say about men with large antlers... they have a hard time wearing hats.
Heroes of the Storm, by Malfurion StormrageI hear the wilds call. Wait... that's just Tyrande.
Heroes of the Storm, by Malfurion StormrageNight elves are the right elves.
Heroes of the Storm, by Malfurion StormrageI speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
Heroes of the Storm, by Malfurion StormrageWell, this is a thorny situation. Get it? Thorny? It's because I'm a druid! I am humorous.
Heroes of the Storm, by Malfurion StormrageMalfurion and I have one rule that defines our relationship: No shapeshifting! I am not into that!
Heroes of the Storm, by Tyrande WhisperwindGoddess make me fast and accurate, let my aim be true, and if today is truly the day you call me home, let me die with an empty quiver.
Heroes of the Storm, by Tyrande WhisperwindWhat the...- how long have these leaves been in my hair? Why does no one tell me these things?
Heroes of the Storm, by Tyrande WhisperwindYou know, when women ran things here in Kalimdor, we experienced an era of peace, then the men woke up and now we face a new war every other year.
Heroes of the Storm, by Tyrande WhisperwindHas anyone seen my cat? It feels like it's been years since I've seen her.
Heroes of the Storm, by Tyrande WhisperwindI am celebrating my 29th birthday next week... for the 10,000th time.
Heroes of the Storm, by Tyrande WhisperwindAh, I miss real-time strategy. The isometric perspective, the epic large-scale battles! Can't say I miss all this poking though.
Heroes of the Storm, by ThrallTake your Warchief's advice: Don't run around doing stupid things just because someone yells "For the Horde!"
Heroes of the Storm, by ThrallI am a lean, green, fighting machine.
Heroes of the Storm, by ThrallIf you're holding on for a Frozen reference, just let it go. Oh no, what have I done?
Heroes of the Storm, by Jaina ProudmooreI'm sorry, what? Thrall and me!? Ugh, who keeps spreading that filthy rumor. Besides, everyone knows I prefer blue over green.
Heroes of the Storm, by Jaina ProudmooreI wonder why they call it "polymorph" when it always turns enemies into one thing. They should have called it something like "monomorph" or "that-spell-that-turns-people-into-sheep".
Heroes of the Storm, by Jaina ProudmooreWait, is that a white hair? I hope that's not a bad sign.
Heroes of the Storm, by Jaina ProudmooreOh, I just thought of the perfect joke to tell Anduin! What do you call a gnoll that won't share his forest? A Hogger! Oh, he's going to love it!
Heroes of the Storm, by Varian WrynnAll I ever wanted to do was study. Of course, then a giant demon smashed my home apart so that kind of put an end to that.
Heroes of the Storm, by Jaina ProudmooreAre you still clicking? Was that not enough jokes? Are you not entertained!?! Sorry, uh... sometimes my gladiator past gets the best of me.
Heroes of the Storm, by Varian WrynnAnduin got me to play Hearthstone once... it was a bit "fantastic" for my tastes. What kind of game allows Garrosh to order me around? It's absurd!
Heroes of the Storm, by Varian WrynnMy father once said that everywhere the Light touches is our kingdom... but not Deadwind Pass. We don't go there.
Heroes of the Storm, by Anduin WrynnHmm? Oh, actually, I am still wearing the helmet. It's just transmogrified to hidden.
Heroes of the Storm, by Anduin WrynnBy the way, a little bronze dragon told me about what you blood elves planned to do to my grave. I'm not thrilled about it.
Heroes of the Storm, by Uther LightbringerSometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel... is a train.
Heroes of the Storm, by Uther LightbringerI hate to admit it, but you were... hm, kind of... prepared.
Heroes of the Storm, by Illidan StormrageNo, I did not just see that, or anything else for that matter.
Heroes of the Storm, by Illidan StormrageDoes anyone else miss Chaos damage?
Heroes of the Storm, by Illidan StormrageI have no time for games! Yet, I always seem to be in them...
Heroes of the Storm, by Sylvanas WindrunnerYou have no idea how tough it is to do this in heels. Good thing my nerve endings rotted away.
Heroes of the Storm, by Sylvanas WindrunnerAll I want is to settle down with a Lich Queen of my own and have some little Lich-lings. Is that too much to ask?
Heroes of the Storm, by Arthas MenethilAlarak: "Make no mistake, I intend to neither stay nor listen."
Deckard Cain: "Alas, that we have lived to see such times."
Of course Chromie arrived in the Nexus before me. Bronze dragons have to be first at everything. And last. And everything in between.
Heroes of the Storm, by AlexstraszaI know we've been instructing you not to for years, but trust me, this one time, stand in the fire.
Heroes of the Storm, by AlexstraszaYou have no idea how hard it is to find jewelry that magically changes size.
Heroes of the Storm, by AlexstraszaI'll let you in on a secret. Ruby dragons don't actually use Hearthstones. We just click our talons together a few times and we're home.
Heroes of the Storm, by AlexstraszaMy brood has told me I can be a real queen sometimes, but it's a mother's right to be at least a little... draconian.
Heroes of the Storm, by AlexstraszaIn the end, those who serve death are always consumed by it.
Heroes of the Storm, by AlexstraszaBehold - the power gifted by the titans!
Heroes of the Storm, by AlexstraszaGul'dan: "An eternity of darkness awaits those who challenge me."
Alexstrasza: "Those who trade life for power are unworthy of such a blessing."
Today, I'm Uther the Painbringer!
Heroes of the Storm, by Uther LightbringerWe could only level to 10! What are you now, level 100? More? You kids these days...
Heroes of the Storm, by Uther LightbringerLet the righteous know peace, and the injust know the back of my hand.
Heroes of the Storm, by Uther LightbringerI don't see why everyone is so distrusting of this "Raven Lord". He seems a perfectly fine fellow to me. Of course, birds of a feather do flock together.
Heroes of the Storm, by MedivhYou're telling me Khadgar flew in as a raven and transformed in front of the king to deliver a dire warning? That's my boy... - or he was, until I turned him into an old man, that is.
Heroes of the Storm, by MedivhPeople keep saying they're outraged at another infamous black dragon for burning an entire city full of innocent people to ash. One city. Amateur.
Heroes of the Storm, by DeathwingJust as all life ends in death, all order must end in chaos.
Heroes of the Storm, by DeathwingThe Wrath of the Lich King was nothing. Wait until you see the Wrath of the Banshee Queen!
Heroes of the Storm, by Sylvanas WindrunnerUgh, my brother is such a tree hugger.
Heroes of the Storm, by Illidan StormrageYou know, for 10,000 years old, Tyrande still looks pretty good... at least that's what they tell me.
Heroes of the Storm, by Illidan StormrageAlright, I'm ready. All I need is someone to point me to the piñata.
Heroes of the Storm, by Illidan StormrageWait, what? What do you mean, there's lore in this game? You guys actually paid someone to write a story about Raynor meeting Diablo? Isn't this precisely what fan fiction is for?! I didn't approve any of this!
Heroes of the Storm, by ThrallA lot of people don't realize how difficult and awkward it is to grow up in the spotlight. Your every success, and every failure laid bare in front of the entire world... of Warcraft.
Heroes of the Storm, by Anduin WrynnIn pandaren board games, the goal is for both players to win. In Hearthstone, the goal is for me to beat you to death... with your own minions.
Heroes of the Storm, by Anduin WrynnNo, I was never in Night Ranger... but I have an all-dead girl group called band-she.
Heroes of the Storm, by Sylvanas WindrunnerPeople wonder how I learned how to quell my rage... But the secret is, I'm always angry.
Heroes of the Storm, by Varian WrynnBack then "daemon" had an "a" in it. Like I intended! It looks more mystical that way.
Heroes of the Storm, by Gul'danNo, I'm not going to sing for you. I'm a heartless undead ruler, not a music box.
Heroes of the Storm, by Sylvanas WindrunnerI thought I was the only one who'd been murdered by a cruel man, raised as a powerful but horrible abomination, subsequently crowned myself queen, and dedicated my subjects to orchestrating my vengeance. But then I met Kerrigan!
Heroes of the Storm, by Sylvanas WindrunnerAt the tone, the time will be the hour of twilight! Eastern Kingdoms standard time.
Heroes of the Storm, by DeathwingIt's "Lich King", not "Lick King"... the two are very, very different jobs!
Heroes of the Storm, by Arthas MenethilI keep killing, but no loot comes out. This game makes no sense.
Heroes of the Storm, by BarbarianI swear, the next person who names me Barbie on Battle.net, gets an axe to the forehead.
Heroes of the Storm, by BarbarianNo man can defeat me! Although, ten to twenty-five might do the trick.
Heroes of the Storm, by Arthas MenethilIf you think I'm powerful now, you should see my abilities in Heroic mode!
Heroes of the Storm, by Arthas Menethil