Look, with the number of whelps I've sired, I think I've earned the right to make a dad joke or two.“The thing no one tells you about sitting on a Frozen Throne, is how much of your flesh ends up stuck to it.The most important thing I've learned in all my journeys is... balance. Work and play. Good and bad. Right and wrong. Honor. Tradition. A good brew. And most especially... family. These are things that bring me balance. These are the things I fight for.Does anyone know when these spikes grew out of my back? You would think I would remember something like that.Those with power must wield it without fear. And if that power allows you to cast fear upon others, well that's a nice bonus.I once was the head of a secretive council that controlled the Orcish Horde from the shadows. I called it... the Shadow Council. Shut up, naming things is hard!I love big tusks and I cannot lie.Anger management? I'm great at managing people with my anger!It doesn't matter how many times my enemies try to kill me, I'm still not dropping the Tusks of Mannoroth! They're mine!This is my war song. Take back my Horde song. Prove all my might song.I love playing Hearthstone! I can send Varian to his death as many times as I want!Just to be clear, all the loot we get from this is mine. I need it. For, uhm... hunter reasons.By the way, every time you've ever been beaten by a hunter... That was actually me.Some believe hunting with a bow to be the ultimate challenge. They should try it with an axe.Atiesh, Greatstaff of the Guardian, is a unique and powerful artifact passed down from Guardian to apprentice for generations. Pay no attention to that druid holding another one. Or that priest. Or Khadgar. In fact, never pay attention to Khadgar.The spell is called "polymorph" because with a little practice, you can technically transform someone into any animal. Most mages are simply too sheepish to give it a try.No, you don't need to stay awhile and listen. You must have me confused with someone else.Most people don't realize that Illidan and I were actually triplets. Poor Buenofurion.You know what they say about men with large antlers... they have a hard time wearing hats.I hear the wilds call. Wait... that's just Tyrande.Night elves are the right elves.I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.Well, this is a thorny situation. Get it? Thorny? It's because I'm a druid! I am humorous.Malfurion and I have one rule that defines our relationship: No shapeshifting! I am not into that!Goddess make me fast and accurate, let my aim be true, and if today is truly the day you call me home, let me die with an empty quiver.What the...- how long have these leaves been in my hair? Why does no one tell me these things?You know, when women ran things here in Kalimdor, we experienced an era of peace, then the men woke up and now we face a new war every other year.Has anyone seen my cat? It feels like it's been years since I've seen her.I am celebrating my 29th birthday next week... for the 10,000th time.Ah, I miss real-time strategy. The isometric perspective, the epic large-scale battles! Can't say I miss all this poking though.Take your Warchief's advice: Don't run around doing stupid things just because someone yells "For the Horde!"I am a lean, green, fighting machine.If you're holding on for a Frozen reference, just let it go. Oh no, what have I done?I'm sorry, what? Thrall and me!? Ugh, who keeps spreading that filthy rumor. Besides, everyone knows I prefer blue over green.I wonder why they call it "polymorph" when it always turns enemies into one thing. They should have called it something like "monomorph" or "that-spell-that-turns-people-into-sheep".Wait, is that a white hair? I hope that's not a bad sign.Oh, I just thought of the perfect joke to tell Anduin! What do you call a gnoll that won't share his forest? A Hogger! Oh, he's going to love it!All I ever wanted to do was study. Of course, then a giant demon smashed my home apart so that kind of put an end to that.Are you still clicking? Was that not enough jokes? Are you not entertained!?! Sorry, uh... sometimes my gladiator past gets the best of me.Anduin got me to play Hearthstone once... it was a bit "fantastic" for my tastes. What kind of game allows Garrosh to order me around? It's absurd!A king is only as noble as the cause he serves.My father once said that everywhere the Light touches is our kingdom... but not Deadwind Pass. We don't go there.Hmm? Oh, actually, I am still wearing the helmet. It's just transmogrified to hidden.By the way, a little bronze dragon told me about what you blood elves planned to do to my grave. I'm not thrilled about it.Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel... is a train.I hate to admit it, but you were... hm, kind of... prepared.No, I did not just see that, or anything else for that matter.Does anyone else miss Chaos damage?I have no time for games! Yet, I always seem to be in them...You have no idea how tough it is to do this in heels. Good thing my nerve endings rotted away.All I want is to settle down with a Lich Queen of my own and have some little Lich-lings. Is that too much to ask?Alarak: "Make no mistake, I intend to neither stay nor listen."
Deckard Cain: "Alas, that we have lived to see such times."Alarak
Of course Chromie arrived in the Nexus before me. Bronze dragons have to be first at everything. And last. And everything in between.I know we've been instructing you not to for years, but trust me, this one time, stand in the fire.You have no idea how hard it is to find jewelry that magically changes size.I'll let you in on a secret. Ruby dragons don't actually use Hearthstones. We just click our talons together a few times and we're home.My brood has told me I can be a real queen sometimes, but it's a mother's right to be at least a little... draconian.In the end, those who serve death are always consumed by it.Behold - the power gifted by the titans!Gul'dan: "An eternity of darkness awaits those who challenge me."
Alexstrasza: "Those who trade life for power are unworthy of such a blessing."We could only level to 10! What are you now, level 100? More? You kids these days...Today, I'm Uther the Painbringer!Let the righteous know peace, and the injust know the back of my hand.You're telling me Khadgar flew in as a raven and transformed in front of the king to deliver a dire warning? That's my boy... - or he was, until I turned him into an old man, that is.I don't see why everyone is so distrusting of this "Raven Lord". He seems a perfectly fine fellow to me. Of course, birds of a feather do flock together.People keep saying they're outraged at another infamous black dragon for burning an entire city full of innocent people to ash. One city. Amateur.Just as all life ends in death, all order must end in chaos.The Wrath of the Lich King was nothing. Wait until you see the Wrath of the Banshee Queen!Ugh, my brother is such a tree hugger.Alright, I'm ready. All I need is someone to point me to the piñata.You know, for 10,000 years old, Tyrande still looks pretty good... at least that's what they tell me.Wait, what? What do you mean, there's lore in this game? You guys actually paid someone to write a story about Raynor meeting Diablo? Isn't this precisely what fan fiction is for?! I didn't approve any of this!In pandaren board games, the goal is for both players to win. In Hearthstone, the goal is for me to beat you to death... with your own minions.A lot of people don't realize how difficult and awkward it is to grow up in the spotlight. Your every success, and every failure laid bare in front of the entire world... of Warcraft.No, I was never in Night Ranger... but I have an all-dead girl group called band-she.People wonder how I learned how to quell my rage... But the secret is, I'm always angry.Back then "daemon" had an "a" in it. Like I intended! It looks more mystical that way.I thought I was the only one who'd been murdered by a cruel man, raised as a powerful but horrible abomination, subsequently crowned myself queen, and dedicated my subjects to orchestrating my vengeance. But then I met Kerrigan!No, I'm not going to sing for you. I'm a heartless undead ruler, not a music box.At the tone, the time will be the hour of twilight! Eastern Kingdoms standard time.It's "Lich King", not "Lick King"... the two are very, very different jobs!I keep killing, but no loot comes out. This game makes no sense.Barbarian
I swear, the next person who names me Barbie on Battle.net, gets an axe to the forehead.Barbarian
No man can defeat me! Although, ten to twenty-five might do the trick.If you think I'm powerful now, you should see my abilities in Heroic mode! 
