The best Quotes by Harriette Winslow

The best Quotes by Harriette Winslow

Carl, you don't cook, you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast, you're the only man I know who burns Jell-O.
Family Matters - Season 1 Episode 14
1

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Danger's my middle name. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture.
1
Time to count our Christmas cards. One... now, let's read it!
1
I can't help it, Laura. I'm drawn to you. Like a moth to a flame. A bee to a blossom. A mouse to cheese.
1
Eddie: "Urkel, why don't you ever knock?"
Steve Urkel: "Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in."
1
Laura: "Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!"
Steve Urkel: "You heard her, you're all witnesses. She actually said, 'Human Being'. She's mine!"
1
Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.
1
Laura: "How long have we known each other?"
Steve Urkel: "Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds... sixteen seconds."
1
I know I'm not worthy of you. But I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star - you know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying.
Steve Urkel in Family Matters - Season 2 Episode 3
19
Edward: "I still got a chance, it's between me and two other guys. They're better with the hose, but I'm the smartest."
Laura: "And they find their way to work every morning?"
Laura Winslow in Family Matters - Season 1 Episode 15
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Laura: Forget it, Steve, I don't even have time to be mean!"
Steve Urkel: "Great, maybe I'll stay a while."
Steve Urkel in Family Matters - Season 1 Episode 14
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Laura: "Hide-and-seek, that's it."
Steve Urkel: "Oh, great, my parents play this with me all the time. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name."
Steve Urkel in Family Matters - Season 1 Episode 14
2
Edward: "That's it. I've had it with that dog."
Harriette: "What happened?"
Edward: "Look what he did to my algebra homework!"
Harriette: "Tell your teacher your dog ate it."
Edward: "I can't, I used that excuse before we got the dog."
Edward Winslow in Family Matters - Season 1 Episode 13
1
Steve Urkel: "Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Did you think of me while you guys were camping?"
Laura Winslow: "Yeah, every time I used the bug spray."
1
Estelle Winslow: "Steve, how did you get so good at checkers?"
Steve Urkel: "Practice. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends."
1
Lt. Murtaugh: "They're sending in that Urkel kid."
Carl Winslow: "What? We've got cheerleaders taller than him."
1
Laura: "Where did you get the money for this?"
Steve Urkel: "From my stay-away fund. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them."
1
Clarence: "Yo, you a serious little nerd."
Steve Urkel: "No, I AM a serious little nerd. You see, I use verbs. Verbs are our friends. They help move along our sentences."
1
Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.
1
Laura: "Thank you, Steve. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that."
Steve Urkel: "Oh, I understand."
Laura: "You did good."
Steve Urkel: "You love me, don't you?"
1
Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press.
1
Chicago, lock up your daughters! Mt. Urkel is about to erupt.
1
Steve Urkel: "I've taken a vow of chastity."
Carl: "Steve, you've always been chaste."
Steve Urkel: "Yeah, but now I have an excuse."
1
I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks.
1
Judy Winslow: "Mom, when's dinner? We're starved."
Harriette: "Soon, baby. Your dad's runnin' late."
Laura: "Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke!"
1
They're exhausting to inflate, they scare the shit out of you when they pop, and uninflated they just look like a pile of clown-condoms.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight - Boeing
Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12

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