The best Quotes from Hancock

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

Three guys in the car with no girls. Rave music. Hey, I'm not going to judge.

Hancock: "[watching a video of himself throwing Walter, the beached whale, back into the ocean, knocking over a sailboat] I don't even remember that."
Ray Embrey: "Yeah. Greenpeace does."
[pause]
Ray Embrey: "Walter does."

If you don't give yourselves up quietly, I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass, and you drew the short stick, cause your head is going up my ass!

There is no reason to have a plan B, because it distracts from plan A.

Love will make you do crazy things.

He who says he can and he who says he can't, are both usually right.

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.

The first step is you have to say that you can.

Life is lived on the edge.

Stefan Raab: "Hi, you're Will Smith. Say hello to my audience."
Will Smith: "Hi to my audience!"

A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it.

If people are going to complain about stereotyping, it's as likely to be Italian-Americans as gay people.

I have a tendency to evolve into William Shatner, with my big fat face.

I just love doing sitcoms. I'd be in them till I was gray if they'd have me.

By definition, gay is smart. I see plenty of macho heterosexual idiots, but nine times out of 10 you can have a great conversation if you find a gay guy.

How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

We live for the nights that no one remembers, with the people we will never forget.

They danced as though they'd been waiting all their lives for each song.

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.