The best Quotes by Han Lee

Oleg: "If I knew we were gonna have staff meetings after work, I would've taken job at T.G.I. Friday instead. Over there, they roll fast and loose."
Han Lee: "Well, this is how I roll."
Max: "Yeah, short and slow."
Han Lee: "No, I roll fast and furious... Tokyo Drift style."

2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 12

Fast and Furious

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I don't have friends, I have family.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious

Friendship Family

No matter how fast you are, no one outruns their past.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious - F9

Past

I used to say I live my life a quarter mile at a time and I think that's why we were brothers - because you did too. No matter where you are, whether it's a quarter mile away or half way across the world, you'll always be with me. And you'll always be my brother.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious

Brothers

There's nothing more powerful than the love of family. But you turn that into anger - there's nothing more dangerous.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious - F9

I have money. It's trust and character I need around me. You know, who you choose to be around you lets you know who you are. One car in exchange for knowing what a man's made of? That's a price I can live with.

Han in Fast and Furious - Tokyo Drift

They say the open road helps you think about where you've been, where you're going.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious

Street

Life's simple. You make choices and you don't look back.

Han Lue in Fast and Furious - 3: Tokyo Drift

Life Decisions Remorse

I used to live my life a quarter-mile at a time. But things change. I'm a father now. I will always be in your heart.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious - F9

I’m what you might call a champagne problem.

Deckard Shaw in Fast and Furious - Hobbs & Shaw

Champagne

'Pick a door.'
'All right then.'
'No, that's my door. Pick another door.'
'What's wrong with you? [Opens door] You know, you were right, this is your door.'
'What's the matter, you got a lot of bad guys behind that door?'

Fast and Furious - Hobbs & Shaw

I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.

Luke Hobbs in Fast and Furious

Funny Insults Ass

You don't turn your back on family, even when they do.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious - 6

Family

Money will come and go. We all know that. The most important thing in life will always be the people in this room. Right here, right now.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious - 5

Money Friendship

I'm one of those boys who appreciates a fine body regardless of the make.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious - 4

It's not how you stand by your car, it's how you race your car.

Edwin in Fast and Furious

You can have any brew you want... as long it's a Corona.

Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious

That's the problem with having such a big family. How do you choose the ones you save?

Dante in Fast and Furious - Fast X

Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read.

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 2 Episode 2

Instagram X / Twitter

Do you think we can convince them that slapping each other's face is the new high five?

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 7

Han Lee: "Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?"
Max: "Cause I could not be in the background of another Instagram photo!"

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 11

Instagram Hipster

Max: "Hi, ready to order?"
Guest: "Do you have anything that's really special?"
Max: "Not according to my high school guidance counselor."

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 2

High School

Scaring people into participating isn't success, it's Scientology.

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 21

Religion

Max: "Earl, can you break some 20s? The big spenders at table two wanna split their $11 check three ways - even though one person did all the eating."
Earl: "I was in a three-way once. Same thing happened."

Earl Washington in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 12

Earl: "Max, what is the worst sentence you ever want to come out of Han's mouth?"
Max: "I got you pregnant?"
Earl: "Come on, bad, bad."
Max: "I got you pregnant again?"

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 4

That girl is workin' harder than Stephen Hawking tryin' to put in a pair of cufflinks.

Earl Washington in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1

Stephen Hawking

Max: "How old are you gonna be?"
Earl: "75"
Max: "Oh, Earl, if you were just three years younger..."

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1

Hey, if you got a second - stop staring at my boobs!

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1

Boobs

I wear knit hats when it's cold out. You wear knit hats 'cause of Coldplay.
You have tattoos to piss off your dad. My dad doesn't know he's my dad.
And finally, you think this is the sound that gets you service. I think, this is the sound that dries up my v-gina.

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1

Coldplay

Thanksgiving is almost here and as soon as people realize how much money they have to spend on holiday gifts, their wallets snap tighter than Kim Kardashian's legs after the wedding check cleared.

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 10

Kim Kardashian Thanksgiving

You're asking me if I have any gum? That's like asking New Jersey if it has any sl-ts!

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 21

New Jersey

Han Lee: "Perhaps we'll pump the brakes on sour waitress attitude."
Max: "There's only one tool that can change my 'tude, but I'm gonna need two double-A batteries and a 20-minute break."

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 12

Last time I was at the gold space loft, I went to a poetry slam and I wound up slamming a poet.

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 9

Han Lee: "Booty call on billboard. If it's after 2:30, call is for the dirty."
Max: "What's that from? Dr. Seuss' 'oh, the places you'll put it in'?"

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 8

Caroline: "I'm much more concerned with our business and getting my head back above water. Men will come sooner or later."
Max: "Well, according to my research most men come sooner."

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 7

Han Lee: "Hipsters like karaoke!"
Max: "Replace the word 'like' with the word 'Hitler' and you got the three worst things in history."

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 4

Adolf Hitler Hipster Karaoke

Robbie: "I'm Robbie."
Caroline: "I'm uncomfortable. You're getting me wet."
Robbie: "That's the point."

Caroline Channing in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1

Listen, hit me with one more dead president and you'll be six feet under with Biggie and Tupac. You understand me, Jew-Tang Clan?

Caroline Channing in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 17

Max: "I kissed Johnny."
Caroline: "What? When?"
Max: "He came by the apartment right after you left."
Caroline: "I was only gone 20 minutes. What'd you do - shine a bat symbol on your v*gina?"

Caroline Channing in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 9

Vaginas

I think it'd be better for everyone, including my immune system, if I just keep on wearing what I'm wearing and not the apron, 'cause this is Chanel.

Caroline Channing in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1

Chanel

This neighborhood is definitely on the rise. I remember a time when a black man couldn't get a cab around here. And that time was Wednesday.

Earl Washington in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 7

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable. Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Life - Episode 1

Brain

The best Quotes by Han Lee

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