The best Quotes from Grown Ups

Becky Feder: "How long ago was the '80s?"
Keithie Feder: "That was way back in the 1900s. We learned about it in school. It was wack. The phones had long, curly things coming out of the end. You had to watch commercials."

A burpsnart? It's simple. You just start with a burp, then you sniff with a sneeze, you get the going, and that triggers a fart, always.

Lenny Feder: "Doctor, wouldn't it be nice if there was a cure for anger?"
Dr. Larry: "There is. It's called Jack Daniels."

I can't believe nobody's even scared of a black guy anymore! Damn you, Obama!

Do not call him a bug-eyed sociopath with a little man complex. Do not say that his hair makes him look like a dirty q-tip. Or that he resembles an older, gay Jonas Brother. Or a midget, Filipino Fonzi.

Life can be difficult sometimes, it gets bumpy. What with family and kids and things not going exactly like you planned. But that's what makes it interesting. In life the first act is always exciting. The second act... that is where the depth comes in.

Eric Lamonsoff: "Your dad has won over 50 games with that shot."
Greg Feder: "Really? Because that shot doesn't work on the Wii."
Eric Lamonsoff: "Well, you should Wii-turn that Wii and get yourself a Wii-fund. Tim Duncan has had over a hundred game winners with that shot."

I used to get 10 cases of beer for my parties. Now I get 10 cases of juice boxes.

Becky Feder: "Daddy! Where is it taking them?"
Marcus Higgins: "Hell."
Lenny Feder: "Higgins. Don't say that."
Marcus Higgins: "Oh I'm sorry. Not Hell... Mexico."

Deanne McKenzie: "How about I take you out for a date night every Thursday?"
Kurt McKenzie: "Well, Thursday night is Grey's Anatomy, but any other night would be great."