The best Quotes from Gretel and Hansel

A fairytale has a way of getting into your head. Even before you hear it. Somehow you just know it.

The witch in 'Hänsel and Gretel'... she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it!

Sex is not a time to chat. It's one of the few instances in my overly articulated, exceedingly verbal life, where it is perfectly appropriate, if not preferable, to shut up.

I was once with a guy the size of one of those little miniature golf pencils. Couldn't tell if he was trying to f*ck me or erase me.

Carrie: "You bought a pregnant woman a bottle of Scotch?"
Samantha: "The invitation said 'BYOB'."
Miranda: "That meant 'bring your own baby'!"
Carrie: "What did you get her?"
Miranda: "Condoms."

Carrie: "She isn't a hooker, she's like an international party girl."
Miranda: "She's a hooker with a passport."

Carrie: "She took some highfalutin job at Mina Minetti, which is, if you can wrap your brain around this, a higher-end Brunello Cucinelli."
Miranda: "These words mean nothing to me, but now I want pasta."

Carrie: "Remember when we had to legally stand six feet apart from one another?"
Miranda: "Yeah. I miss it."

Charlotte: "She's wearing flats."
Miranda: "That is the most desperate put-down I have ever heard."

If a man is over 30 and single, there's something wrong with him. It's Darwinian, they're being weeded out from propagating the species.

Did I ever really love Big or was I addicted to the pain? The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable.

If he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly... as an a-shole!

She was a smart girl, until she fell in love.

The only way to get over somebody is to feel really bad, cry to your girlfriends - and to replay what you hated about him over and over in your head all day.

Ever thine. Ever Mine. Ever Ours.

I like my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet!

I decided to stop avoiding the situation and take the grown-up approach... complete and utter denial!

It's like the riddle of the Sphinx; why are there so many great unmarried women - and no great unmarried men?

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free, until they find someone just as wild to run with.

Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first.

Men in their 40s are like the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated and you're never really sure you've got the right answer.

I pity him, because I get to walk away and be me and he has to walk away and stay him... who wants to be him when you can be me?

Samantha: "I never Ieave underwear, because I never see it again."
Charlotte: "What happens to it?"
Samantha: "Nothing, I never go back."
Carrie: "Isn't it a Iittle expensive disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?"
Samantha: "That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates."
Miranda: "That's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again."
Charlotte: "I once found another woman's underwear in a man's bed."
Carrie: "Maybe it was Samantha's!"

Miranda: "If 85% aren't circumcised, that means I've only slept with 15% of the population, tops."
Carrie: "You're practically a virgin."

Samantha: "I don't get laid, unless the Knicks win. Can I just say? They and I have been on a very long losing streak."
Carrie: "That's awful."
Samantha: "No kidding. The Knicks are the only ones getting screwed!"

Samantha: "I think it's sad the way she's using a child to validate her existence."
Carrie: "Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?"

Samantha: "Threesomes are huge right now, they're the bl*wjob of the '90s."
Charlotte: "What was the bl*wjob of the '80s?"
Samantha: "Anal sex."

Oh, honey, I'd love some fresh pepper. In fact, I think everyone at this table could use a lot of fresh pepper!

Tell a man: "I hate you" - you'II have the best sex of your Iife. But tell him: "I Iove you" - you'II probably never see him again.

If you die on me, I will kill you.

Org*sms don't send you Valentine's cards and don't hold your hand in a sad movie.

Is your v*gina listed in the New York City guide books? Because it should be - hottest spot in town. Always open.

Stanford: "This is Manhattan, even the shrinks have shrinks."
Carrie: "The fact was, Stanford was right. The therapist was as ubiquitous in Manhattan as pirated cable."
Stanford: "I have three. One when I want to be cuddled, one when I want tough Iove and one for when I just want to Iook at a really beautiful man."
Carrie: "That's sick."
Stanford: "Which is why I see the other two."

"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes... of course... but there's no wood!"
"Have you gone mad!" Ron bellowed. "Are you a witch or not!"

To burn the witch is to admit that magic exists.

Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.

Minor magicians take pains to fit this traditional wizardly bill. By contrast, the really powerful magicians take pleasure in looking like accountants.

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.