The best Quotes from GTA - Grand Theft Auto games

War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.

Niko Bellic in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - IV

War

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

GTA - Grand Theft Auto - IV

Peace

You can pick the game, Niko Bellic, but you can't change the rules.

Dimitri Rascalov in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - IV

Rules

Roman Bellic: "I don't want to die, man! Not like this!"
Niko Bellic: "How would you like to die?"
Roman Bellic: "Having a threesome on my hundredth birthday?"

Roman Bellic in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - IV

Gordon Sargent: "So you're in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?"
Niko: "Well, since you put it that way... I'm in."

Niko Bellic in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - IV

We own you. You're ours. We can shit on you from such a height, you'll think God himself has crapped on you. You understand?

Officer Frank Tenpenny in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

You forget a thousand things every day, pal. Make sure this is one of 'em.

Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Look at me. I'm cranked on speed most of the time, but I'm productivity personified.

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Michael: "I'm trying to relate to you."
Jimmy: "No, you're trying to take me on some nostalgia trip. You're such a cliche."
Michael: "Oh! says the dope-smoking, game-playing, live-at-home, world-owes-him-a-living millennial."

GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Gen Y / Millennials

Lester: "It's hard to get motivated on a job without financial incentive."
Michael: "You can't put a price on freedom."

GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

CJ: "Can you shoot?"
The Truth: "Kid, I'm a hippie. The only thing I've shot is acid. I did see a guy snort it once though. Thought his nose was a kangaroo and the moon was a dog!"

GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

Hippies

Sweet Johnson: "You're dressed like a hooker!"
Kendl: "You two would know what a hooker looks like."
CJ: "You say that like it's a bad thing."

CJ in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

CJ: "Does the Pope shit in the woods?"
Cesar: "Why you always saying that? I already told you. Where the holiness does his business, is his business."

GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

Eddie's got two tickets to paradise, and I do too... In my pants.

Tommy Smith in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

CJ: "You do know that I'm black, right? And not Chinese?"
Woozie: "I'm blind, Carl... not stupid."

GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

Grove Street. Home. At least it used to be until I f*cked everything up.

CJ in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

Packie McReary: "F*ck you, take the needle out your arm then tell me what to do."
Derrick McReary: "I'll let you tell me what to do, when you stop shoving half of Bolivia up your nose every Saturday night!"

GTA - Grand Theft Auto - IV

Cocaine

Nothing drives down real estate prices like a good old-fashioned gang war. Apart from an outbreak of plague, but that may be going too far in this case.

Donald Love in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - III

Are you a professional moron or just a gifted amateur?

Carl "CJ" Johnson in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

Funny Insults

Respect has to be earned. Sweet - just like money.

Big Smoke in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

Respect

Go to college. Then you can rip people off and get paid for it. It's called capitalism.

Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Capitalism

I wanna say I love you and hug it out, but all that wimpy shit is, well - I'd say that its gay... but I have some friends who are gay. So, that's not cool anymore.

Jimmy De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Joe: "Stay outta this, you dumb Canadian!"
Trevor: "Oh, you just made this real easy for me."

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Next, I'll have this thing so far up your ass, your tonsils will be playing shadow puppets.

Karen Daniels in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

No, I think you're plenty stupid enough for both of us.

Tommy Vercetti in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - Vice City

Don't you ever not tell me things I wanna know!

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Great. Seems like the marriage was at least profitable.

Niko Bellic in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - IV

Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make me ruin all the great work your plastic surgeons have been doing!

Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Surviving is winning, Franklin! Everything else is bullshit! Fairytales spun by people afraid to look life in the eye! Whatever it takes, kid! Survive!

Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

I poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin' second and fate shovels shit in my face.

Ken Rosenberg in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - Vice City

You, my friend have found your level in life. You've joined a society of morons called the police force!

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Police

You, Trevor, are the proto-hipster.

Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

The Russians got bigger things to worry about than your genitals, believe me.

Mike Toreno in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

Now go. I need to meditate. Or m*sturbate. Or both.

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Me, I'm not rational. I don't care if you're useful or not. I feel like taking you out, Devo, so that's what I'm doing.

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Don't blame me, blame society.

Carl "CJ" Johnson in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

If that's our standard for goodness... then no wonder this country's screwed.

Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

I said "something nice", not "something expensive"!

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

I'll swing by and sign the contracts, alright? Just ignore the bodies!

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

You're like every other asshole. You made a bit of money, and you became a turd.

Trevor Philips in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

I'll have two number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda.

Big Smoke in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

I'm rich, I'm miserable - I'm pretty average for this town.

Michael De Santa in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - V

Los Angeles

See ya 'round, Carl. Like a doughnut!

Officer Frank Tenpenny in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

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Oh, great warrior? Wars not make one great.

Master Yoda in Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

War Warriors

Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.

Ronald Reagan

Peace

Can't change the world by following all the rules.

Kiriko in Overwatch

Rules

2000 was 20 years ago... which is really weird because 1980 was also 20 years ago.

2020 Gen Y / Millennials Gen X

When you gonna learn that microwave food'll kill you faster than a bullet? I mean, them damn burritos ain't good for nothing but a hippie, when he's high on weed.

Texas Ranger Earl McGraw in From Dusk Till Dawn

Hippies

I take quaaludes ten to fifteen times a day for my "back pain", adderall tostay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again and morphine well... 'cause its awesome.

Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street

Drugs Cocaine

The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.

Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry James Potter Spirit Funny Insults

The best Quotes from GTA - Grand Theft Auto games

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