The best Quotes from God's Favorite Idiot

I love the free press. It's, like, the best... press.

Mohsin: "Remember last summer when you took a bunch of Adderall with margaritas and thought you met Oliver Twist?"
Amily: "No. The whole point of taking Adderall and margaritas is so you don't remember."

Frisbee: "Tell me that's not alcohol?!"
Amily: "Maybe it is - maybe it isn't."

Wendy: "Do you remember that time last year when you took three Tylenol PMs for your headache at lunch, and then you thought you saw a bobcat in the bathroom?"
Amily: "Yeah, I do, and in my defense, I thought I was taking three Vicodin. So it's not apples to opioids."

You are acting crazier than normal, which is very crazy.

I do want to just be completely open and honest. Yes, I did cocaine twice last week, but I did zero cocaine preceding the event that I am about to describe. I also accidentally roofied myself last night, too, but I don't know if that's really relevant.

Amily: "We don't know that this is a religious thing. Maybe you'll just spontaneously combust."
Clark: "What?"
Amily: "Low, low percentage."

Mohsin: "God would probably choose someone simple, sweet."
Clark: "That's not me. I'm not simple and sweet. I'm very edgy, actually."

Chamuel: "You have been chosen by God to help the world."
Clark: "No, really? I was afraid he was gonna say something like this."

If Clark is the beacon to God, the freaky possibilities of how this could all play out are literally endless.

Clark, the glowing is gorgeous. Tom, need the hands above the equator.

How about this? Why don't you tell your face to tell your face the truth the first time? Or tell that 'stache to tell the rest of your face the truth the first time.

A free press can, of course, be good or bad, but, most certainly without freedom, the press will never be anything but bad.

Even in the darkness, diamonds still shine.

Why would anyone want to be a pirate? It's the best thing there is. Wind in your back. The salty sea air. Loyal crew by your side.

What if everything that came from the past were influenced by the future?

It takes much more courage to be in love than it does for war.

Don't exploit an advantage just because it emerges; wait until the optimal moment, then strike.

Ats Ayittey: "Excuse me but this is the quiet carriage."
Stefan Tovell: "Shut the f*ck up then."

"Hey. Do you like bad boys?"
"Sure do. Let me know if you find one."

Marcus: "My bike. It's gone. She took it."
Max: "So that's like Grand Theft Auto. Or Grand Theft Bike."

Aimee: "Did you know you need, like, sugar and flour and an oven to bake? And you don't shove it all in, you have to follow alle these rules."
Maeve: "Yeah, it's called a recipe."

I think love should come out of nowhere, sweep you up completely.

The people's rage. It is like an illness, an ulcer. And ulcers must be cauterized.

People say Hawkins is cursed. They're not way off.

Weems: "No doubt you'll find something that tickles your fancy."
Wednesday: "The last person who tickled me lost a finger."

I'm responsible for my own happiness? I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast!

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"