Quotes by George Costanza

Why is nice bad? What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad?

I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.

Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.

This woman hates me so much, I’m starting to like her.

I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.'