Quote by George Carlin (about Laziness, Ambition, Work)

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

George Carlin

Laziness Ambition Work

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't wanna f*ck in the first place?

George Carlin

Abortion

Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.

George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

George Carlin

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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

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Weather

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

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Electricity is really just organized lightning.

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Power & Electricity

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11

Sex New York City

There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.

Grüner Kobold in Spider-Man

Fame New York City

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

New York City

Manhattan, for millions of our forefathers, the gateway to hope, opportunity and happiness beyond their wildest dreams. Today, that hope is still alive, it's called "The First Date". On Saturday nights, every restaurant in Lower Manhattan resembles its own little Ellis Island.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 3

New York City Manhatten

I want to wake up in that city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

New York City

In a city that moves so fast, you get the Sunday paper on Saturday - how did any of us know how much time we had left?

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 5

New York City

My ambition is handicapped by laziness.

Charles Bukowski in Factotum

Laziness Ambition

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.

Jane Austen

Laziness

If believing in yourself and going after what you want in life and realising your worth is ruthless and selfish, then I'm definitely ruthless and selfish.

Nicole Scherzinger

Ambition Egoism

Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is the best.

Tim Duncan

Ambition

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one.

Grandmother Willow in Pocahontas

Work Motivation

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Thomas Edison

Work Giving Up Beginning

Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017

Kim Jong Un North Korea

One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

Felix Lobrecht

Berlin Munich Oktoberfest

To never be sick can't be healthy.

Karl Valentin

Illness & Sickness

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Ricky Gervais

Atheism Santa Claus Hölle

Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!

Bill Murray

Life

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

Robin Williams

Shooting Stars

This is the end of Wladimir Putin.

Jan Böhmermann - February 2022

Vladimir Putin Russia-Ukraine War

People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Steve Harvey - February 2021

Money

Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.

Kevin Hart

Gossip & Rumors

Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - The Truth Behind Music Streaming

Spotify

Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.

Dave Chappelle

The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.

Oliver Welke in heute-show - Sendung vom 24.04.2020

Donald Trump Corona-Jokes

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.

Mike Myers

Fathers

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

Quote by George Carlin (about Laziness, Ambition, Work)

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