The best Quotes by Geoffrey Butler

I found that any game can be made interesting if you put some money on it.

Phillip Banks: "Geoffrey, bring me my tools."
Geoffrey: "Do you mean your knife and fork, sir?"

Carlton: "Within an hour, I'll have a gorgeous date and a great Halloween costume."
Will: "You better buy the mask first!"

Will: "Carlton, I misjudged you. You're a lot cooler than I thought. Hey, you wanna go to the club with us tonight?"
Carlton: "I don't have a date."
Will: "Carlton, never bring a sandwich to a buffet!"

Will: "What's so funny?"
Hilary: "Carlton just told a joke."
Will: "No, Hilary, Carlton is a joke."

A hard head makes for a soft behind.

Dad, don't do anything stupid! You haven't updated your will yet.

Carlton: "If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and smells like a duck, what is it?"
Will: "Your prom date?"

Vivian: "Excuse me. I'm looking for that store with the safari clothes. I can't remember the name, but I think there's some type of produce in it."
"Banana Republic."
Vivian: "That's it. Thank you."

Any time you see a white guy in jail, you know he did something bad.

Congratulate me. It took all day, but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the "Save the Everglades" dinner tonight.

Will: "Come on Uncle Phil, you're gonna ruin my rep."
Uncle Phil: "You're only 17, you don't have a rep yet."

Carlton: "I'm sick of being such a big loser."
Will: "Aw, C... you're not big."

Oh my god, Carlton! What's that hideous thing growing out of your neck? Ah, never mind. It's just your head.

Man, I love Halloween. It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!

What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?

Girl, you look so good, I would marry your brother just to get in your family.

Carlton, you are grounded for a month. Will, added to the month that you already have, it should take you into Fiscal '91.

Phillip Banks: "Going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money."
Will: "You really believe that, Uncle Phil?"
Phillip Banks: "Yes, son, I really do."
Will: "Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer?"

Phillip Banks: "Penn State would've been my first choice if my applications to Princeton, Yale, and Talledega Tech had fallen through."
Dr. Hoover: "You must have been an athlete in your thinner days."

The world is the board, Heiress. We just have to keep rolling the dice.

When the odds are bad, you change the rules.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

No. Well, yes - experience.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Man, you know I'm gonna rep West Philly wherever I go.

Girl, yo feet must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day.

Girl, the way you looking so good, I wish just I could plant you and grow a whole field of ya'll.

Fifty bucks? I could take like... 25 women out to dinner!

Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too.

A real man takes responsibility for his actions. A real man knows when to let go of his pride and make the most out of his second chance.

Why are we working so hard to save a boy who doesn't want to be saved?

We have a different set of rules here, okay? If you want to do well, just keep your head down and follow my lead.

I know you can hear me with ears that big.

Well, someone has her rude hat on tonight.

Maybe I sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that's who I am, dammit.