Quotes from Futurama

Professor: "I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
Fry: "Oh, what's it called now?"
Professor: "Urectum."

Dwight: "I heard beer makes you stupid."
Fry: "No I'm… doesn't!"

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.

Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?

They're like sex, except I'm having them.

Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love.

Valentine's Day is coming? Oh crap - I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

Bite my shiny metal ass!

I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.

Gimme your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink!

You've succeeded in showing me life is worth living, by showing me how bad my funeral will suck.

That's the saltiest thing I've ever eaten… and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt.

There will be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return.

I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor, then I hope he did die.

I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.