Quotes from Futurama

You've succeeded in showing me life is worth living, by showing me how bad my funeral will suck.

Bite my shiny metal a-ss!

That's the saltiest thing I've ever eaten… and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt.

Professor: "I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
Fry: "Oh, what's it called now?"
Professor: "Urectum."

Dwight: "I heard beer makes you stupid."
Fry: "No I'm… doesn't!"

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.

Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?

They're like sex, except I'm having them.

Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love.

Valentine's Day is coming? Oh crap - I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.

Gimme your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink!

There will be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return.

I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor, then I hope he did die.

I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.