The best Quotes from Futurama

You've succeeded in showing me life is worth living, by showing me how bad my funeral will suck.

Bite my shiny metal a-ss!

That's the saltiest thing I've ever eaten… and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt.

Professor: "I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
Fry: "Oh, what's it called now?"
Professor: "Urectum."

Dwight: "I heard beer makes you stupid."
Fry: "No I'm… doesn't!"

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.

Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?

They're like sex, except I'm having them.

Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love.

Valentine's Day is coming? Oh crap - I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.

Gimme your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink!

There will be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return.

I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor, then I hope he did die.

I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.

Whoa, this is big. I really need some time to drink about this.

Man, after-work drinks taste so much better than instead-of-work drinks.

Elfo: "What about me? Nobody cared either time I came back to life."
Luci: "I was disappointed both times. Disappointment's a form of caring."

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

I always wanted to get lost in a labyrinth. It's like a puzzle you solve with your feet.

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?

My standard comment is, "If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson."

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

Charlie Brown: "We only live once, Snoopy."
Snoopy: "Wrong! We only die once. We live every day!"

Clever of me to use my spine to break my fall like that.

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

What did you do, comb your hair with an eggbeater?

Averell: "I love exotic food! What do you call this delicious crust around the frijoles?"
Espuelas: "It's called a terracotta bowl, amigo."

Quagmire: "You got to help me. I'm looking for a little boy with red overalls and a yellow shirt."
French Man: "You are looking to buy or to rent?"
Quagmire: "What? No! God! How is Paris considered a classy city?"
French Man: "The buildings are beautiful, the people are trash."