The funniest Threats from Movies, Series and Books

I'm gonna beat you like a piñata till candy flies out of your ass!

They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

We're gonna need someone to sweep your teeth off the floor!

If you wish to continue breathing, I advise you to weigh your next words carefully.

I fear no man. If you breathe oxygen, it's fair game. I will come and take you out.

Dokk Strassi: "May you never leave Mos Espa."
Boba Fett: "Even when a Trandoshan pays you a compliment, it sounds like a threat."

Ten seconds, two choices: One, the information, or your brains on the desk.

You don't need your mouth to pee!

You're lucky you're still breathing, let alone able to walk. I suggest you take full advantage of that fact.

Any of you f*cking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherf*cking last one of ya!

Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."

Baldrick: "I love my mum."
Blackadder: "And I love chops in sauce but I don't seek their advice."

"Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin."
"Still half true."

Well, if he's not gonna speak, he no longer needs his head.

Jabba ruled with fear. I intend to rule with respect.

Pyke Leader: "Are you going to kill us?"
Boba: "That depends on how you answer what I'm about to ask."

Look out for yourself. Anything else is weakness.

Do I look like a man who came halfway across Europe to die on a bridge?

Have a good life… What's left of it.

For the record, there aren't 400 people in that container. Only 395 made it here alive.

Mr. Kwai: "The delivery will be made. My daughter will get over it. If I'm lucky, she'll see the light."
Frank Martin: "Yeah, and if she's lucky, maybe you'll get hit by a truck."

I love you. It means we take care of each other. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

You can’t drink him away. It won’t work.

Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.

Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large, you'd think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

Not even traditional Chinese medicine can cure your stupidity!

Interpol officer with a strong sense of justice and even stronger roundhouse kick.

Your face wore out my gloves! Buy me some new ones!

My fists have a very strict diet... they only eat losers!

In difficult times, fear is a surer bet.

Fennec: "Shall I kill him?"
Boba: "He works for the mayor."
Fennec: "Is that a no?"

Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

I mean, they say dou die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.

Life is about growing and improving and getting better.

The more you seek the uncomfortable, the more you will become comfortable.

You got guts, I'll give you that. You better fight as good as you talk.

Left for dead on the sands of Tatooine. I am Boba Fett.

Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.

They say we only use a fraction of our brain's true potential. Now that's when we're awake. When we're asleep, we can do almost anything.

These are not stolen, they just haven't been paid for.

Dean: "What the f*ck do we know about antiques?"
Barry: "If it looks old, it's worth money. Simple."

That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fck up for a minute and comfortably share the silence.

This shit is between me, you, and Mr. soon-to-be-living-the-rest-of-his-short-ass-life-in-agonizing-pain rapist here.

Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"

Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical, and my money's been on you.

Seriosly, I don't mean to be an asshole, it's just... genetic.