Funny Quotes by Politicians

Funny Quotes by Politicians

These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be.
Barack Obama - White House Correspondents' Dinner 2013
1
They missed a great opportunity to shut up.
Leno: "What's this thing with Trump and you? I don't get it, it's like me and Letterman - what has he got against you?"
Obama: "This all dates back to when we were growing up together in Kenya. We had constant run-ins on the soccer field."
Barack Obama - The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, October 2012
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or me being reincarnated as an olive.
Boris Johnson - June 2012
Never ask anyone over 70 how they feel. They'll tell you.
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog!
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
1
I am told that the last three speakers here [Westminster Hall] have been the Pope, her Majesty the Queen and Nelson Mandela. Which is either a very high bar or the beginning of a very funny joke.
Barack Obama - May 2011
Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening.
Zach Galifianakis: "What is it like to be the last black president?"
Barack Obama: "Seriously? What's it like for this to be the last time, you'll ever talk to a president?"
So congratulations, again, to the Miami Heat. And now we are going to take a picture that makes me look very short.
Barack Obama - January 28, 2013 - Miami Heat visit the White House
1
Most of the things that we found out about ourselves are an essential part of every good party.
Angela Merkel (about Wikileaks)
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Winston Churchill (on his 75th birthday)
2

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War is young men dying and old men talking. You know this. Ignore the politics.
Odysseus in Troy
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Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity.
3
Finance is a gun. Politics is knowing when to pull the trigger.
Don Lucchesi in The Godfather - Teil 3
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Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
1
In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.
1
An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.
1
You're in politics. You know that no one can claw their way to the top without getting a little dirt under their fingernails.
Victoria Leeds in Baywatch
They say politics is a contact sport, and I have to agree with that.
Statecraft is the art of attending to small matters as diligently as grand ones.
Someone once said that politics is little more than the systematic organization of hostilities.
Politics is a game and a profession. It doesn't really serve the people the politicians are supposed to serve.
It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their own selfish purposes.
For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
1
When you fall, the real test is whether you can ignore the naysayers, pick yourself up and come back stronger.
Barack Obama - January 28, 2013 - Miami Heat visit the White House
4
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
3
Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.
2
Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.
Evey Hammond in V for Vendetta
8
You know, you're gonna have to get much better at lying if you want to be president.
Lucifer Morningstar in Lucifer - Season 1 Episode 1
2
Don't forget, she's a politician, and they're not to be trusted.
1
Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Actually, I wanted to stop being mean. But everyone else has to stop being dumb first.
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
7
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
1
Education is the most powerful weapon you can choose to change the world.
4
I hope in the years to come everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge.
Queen Elizabeth II (as Queen of the United Kingdom) - April 2020
2
One can go to war alone, but you can't build peace alone.
1
If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all.
Thumper in Bambi
21
I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
We are not the sum of our possessions.
All grown-ups were once children... but only few of them remember it.
16
America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.
As a native Washingtonian, I am well aware that childhood obesity is a real problem in our nation's capital.
The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.
5
We can't do everything, but we have to do, what we can do.
1
How does President Obama like his coffee? Like himself? Weak?
I don't rate Heat fans like I rate Knicks fans. We are true basketball fans. No matter what - rain, sleet or snow, or even if we don't make it to the playoffs for 10 years - the Garden stands are still full.
I believe in Europe. I am convinced by Europe. Not only as a heritage from the past, but as hope and a vision for the future.
Angela Merkel (as Chancellor of Germany) - July 2020, Speech at the European Parliament
2

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