20+ Funny and creative Insults

The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.

Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry James Potter Spirit

Christ, you two! All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.

Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad - Season 4 Episode 13

Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something.

Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Neville Longbottom

I'll be very clear here, because you and I face an evolutionary gap.

John Abruzzi in Prison Break - Season 1 Episode 7

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill

Dump-Quotes Funny Politician Quotes

I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.

Luke Hobbs in Fast and Furious

Ass

Student: "Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?"
Janis: "Your mom's chest hair!"

Mean Girls

Griselda: "I heard that you liked my product."
Eddie 'The Bird' Rancon: "Beautiful. Was like shoving a f*cking coca plant up my nose."
Griselda: "Give the size of that thing I bet you have the whole f*cking brick up there."

Griselda Blanco in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1

Cocaine

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Brain

Your brain is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunach's underpants.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Prince George: "Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey."
Blackadder: "Oh, an absurd suggestion sir. Unless it was a particularly stupid donkey."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Donkeys

My fists have a very strict diet... they only eat losers!

Balrog in Street Fighter - II

Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.

HK-47 in Star Wars Games - Knights of the Old Republic

One of the both of us is smarter than you are.

I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll make an exception.

Mockingbird in King's Quest - VII: The Princeless Bride

Are you a professional moron or just a gifted amateur?

Carl "CJ" Johnson in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas

"The only time you seem honest is when you're insulting someone!"
"The only honest things I can say to you are insults."

Brandon Sanderson in The Stormlight Archive - Words of Radiance

Dump-Quotes

Girl, if brains were dynamite, you'd be a dud.

Tahm Kench, the River King in League of Legends - to Jinx

If your heart is gold and your body is steel, why's tin between your ears?

Tahm Kench, the River King in League of Legends - to Blitzcrank

Somebody once said I had a face for radio and a voice for newspapers.

Jerry Springer

Pinky, you give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "counter-intelligence". You have the I.Q. of plaster.

Brain in Pinky and the Brain

Do you practice being dim or is it a natural talent?

Brain in Pinky and the Brain - Season 1 Episode 4

Pinky

I've got two minutes to kill. Tell me everything you know.

Mockingbird in King's Quest - VII: The Princeless Bride

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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin

Alcohol Funny Quotes

"There's perfect men around every corner", said God an made the Earth round.

Funny Quotes Singles & Dating

Working out makes people more comfortable with their naked bodies. So does Tequila.

Funny Quotes Tequila Being naked

Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Dump-Quotes

Actually, I wanted to stop being mean. But everyone else has to stop being dumb first.

Foolishness Dump-Quotes

Your mom's so fat, even in Minecraft she appears round.

Minecraft Your Mom jokes

Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."

Chef in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2

Fat People

I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need any more character!

Debbie Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 10

Ginger / Redhairs

Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Sassy Quotes

They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Threats

Home is a hard place to leave, even if you are unhappy there.

Alexander in King's Quest - VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow

Home

I appreciate your mind is unsullied by the complications of reason.

Tahm Kench, the River King in League of Legends - to Renekton

Pinky: "Egad. You astound me, Brain."
Brain: "That's a simple task, Pinky."

Brain in Pinky and the Brain

Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain. But me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?"

Pinky in Pinky and the Brain

Pippi Longstocking

You're the weak one. And you'll never know love, or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.

Harry James Potter in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Voldemort / Tom Riddle

"I'll join you when Hell freezes over," said Neville. "Dumbledore's Army!" he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from the crowd, whom Voldemort's Silencing Charms seemed unable to hold.

Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

War Speeches

The Brain: "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain. But how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?"

Pinky in Pinky and the Brain

Spice Girls

Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. "After all this time?"
"Always", said Snape.

Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.

Sirius Black in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Morality

After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Spirit Death

Eighty-six years. But with good behavior... who knows?

Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 13

You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me?! No! I am the one who knocks!

Walter White in Breaking Bad - Season 4 Episode 6

You like the Weasleys, don't you, Potter? Spend holidays there and everything, don't you? Can't see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you've been dragged up by Muggles, even the Weasley's hovel smells OK.

Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Muggles

It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.

Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Dreaming

Does not a warm hand feel better than a cold shank?

John Abruzzi in Prison Break - Season 1 Episode 19

Peace Warmth

We are captives of our own identities, living in prisons of our own creation.

Theodore Bagwell in Prison Break

20+ Funny and creative Insults

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