20+ Funny and creative Insults

20+ Funny and creative Insults

The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.
5
Christ, you two! All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.
Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad - Season 4 Episode 13
4
Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something.
1
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
1
I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.
Luke Hobbs in Fast and Furious
1
I'll be very clear here, because you and I face an evolutionary gap.
John Abruzzi in Prison Break - Season 1 Episode 7
1
Student: "Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?"
Janis: "Your mom's chest hair!"
Griselda: "I heard that you liked my product."
Eddie 'The Bird' Rancon: "Beautiful. Was like shoving a f*cking coca plant up my nose."
Griselda: "Give the size of that thing I bet you have the whole f*cking brick up there."
Griselda Blanco in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Your brain is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunach's underpants.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Prince George: "Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey."
Blackadder: "Oh, an absurd suggestion sir. Unless it was a particularly stupid donkey."
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
My fists have a very strict diet... they only eat losers!
Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.
HK-47 in Star Wars Games - Knights of the Old Republic
One of the both of us is smarter than you are.
I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll make an exception.
Mockingbird in King's Quest - VII: The Princeless Bride
Are you a professional moron or just a gifted amateur?
Carl "CJ" Johnson in GTA - Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas
"The only time you seem honest is when you're insulting someone!"
"The only honest things I can say to you are insults."
Girl, if brains were dynamite, you'd be a dud.
If your heart is gold and your body is steel, why's tin between your ears?
Somebody once said I had a face for radio and a voice for newspapers.
Pinky, you give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "counter-intelligence". You have the I.Q. of plaster.
Do you practice being dim or is it a natural talent?
Brain in Pinky and the Brain - Season 1 Episode 4
I've got two minutes to kill. Tell me everything you know.
Mockingbird in King's Quest - VII: The Princeless Bride

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"There's perfect men around every corner", said God an made the Earth round.
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Working out makes people more comfortable with their naked bodies. So does Tequila.
3
Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Actually, I wanted to stop being mean. But everyone else has to stop being dumb first.
Your mom's so fat, even in Minecraft she appears round.
Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
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Chef in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2
3
I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need any more character!
Debbie Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 10
Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.
Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder
Home is a hard place to leave, even if you are unhappy there.
Alexander in King's Quest - VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow
6
I appreciate your mind is unsullied by the complications of reason.
Pinky: "Egad. You astound me, Brain."
Brain: "That's a simple task, Pinky."
Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain. But me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?"
You're the weak one. And you'll never know love, or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.
68
"I'll join you when Hell freezes over," said Neville. "Dumbledore's Army!" he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from the crowd, whom Voldemort's Silencing Charms seemed unable to hold.
2
The Brain: "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain. But how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?"
1
Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. "After all this time?"
"Always", said Snape.
54
We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.
30
After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
34
Eighty-six years. But with good behavior... who knows?
Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 13
You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me?! No! I am the one who knocks!
Walter White in Breaking Bad - Season 4 Episode 6
6
You like the Weasleys, don't you, Potter? Spend holidays there and everything, don't you? Can't see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you've been dragged up by Muggles, even the Weasley's hovel smells OK.
It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.
41
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
7
These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be.
Barack Obama - White House Correspondents' Dinner 2013
1

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