If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
Without deviation progress is not possible.
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
Quotes about Frank Zappa
One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy.