The best Quotes by Felix Lobrecht

One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

Berlin will live and the Wall will fall!

Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.

Berlin - the greatest cultural extravaganza that one could imagine.

If you don't like Munich, I don't know which part of Germany you could like.

They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to Munich - which is kinda the same.

It's called Oktoberfest's Law: Everywhere you can vomit in or onto, people are going to vomit in or onto.

Rule-of-thumb at Oktoberfest: Have at least as many beers as you have fingers.

254 people lost they're driver's license during Oktoberfest for driving their E-Scooters under the influence of alcohol.
So E-Scooters are good for the environment, after all.

Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

To never be sick can't be healthy.

F*ck reason - long live the nonsense!

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.

Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing.

Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.

This is the end of Wladimir Putin.

Dubai accomplished that boom through lots of hard work... by slaves.

Would be great if someone found a tax loophole to make Amazon pay taxes in Germany.

People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Harvey: "You gonna sit up here on national TV and say 'nekkid', and then point at the damn board like we gonna let you get away with it!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"

Harvey: "When people talk about the big one, what do they refer to?"
Contestant: "A man's privates."
Harvey: "Family! I just got this job! What are you trying to do?"

Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.

The only time you should look back in life is to see how far you have come.

If you give up at the first sign of struggle, you’re really not ready to be successful.

Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.

You don't need to show up like a SWAT Team to rescue a Barbie from a little girl. If anything, you should be rescuing the little girl from the Barbie. Should be getting there like, "little girl, watch out! That Barbie can give you a warped sense of what a woman's body is supposed to be!"

All the teams in the NBA will not be playing basketball on Election Day. And the Knicks were like, "Oh, no problem we don't play basketball every day, that's just what we do."

Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.

The language you are about to hear… is disturbing.

Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it’s not nothing, it’s something.

The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.

We are looking at the biggest economic crash since 1970.
And thanks to closed barber-shops, we'll soon look like the 70s again.

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.

Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it.

I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

Germany... a country whose idea of a bedtime story is two children being left to die in the forest, before nearly being cooked and eaten and then murdering an old woman.