Quotes and Sayings about Farting

I put the art in fart.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

"There's perfect men around every corner", said God an made the Earth round.

Working out makes people more comfortable with their naked bodies. So does Tequila.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Bacteria is the only culture some people have.

If you're not careful, Netflix & Chill can turn into Disney+ & Children pretty damn fast.

Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure that they are not the same hours.

What would I put in a museum? Probably a museum. That's an amusing relic of our past.

Wade: "What can I get for $275 and a Yogurtland rewards card?"
Vanessa: "Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the f*ck you want. And a low-fat dessert."

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.

Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

My first words, as I was being born I looked up at my mother and said, "that's the last time I'm going up one of those!"

My mind is like an internet browser - I have 23 tabs open, 4 are frozen, and I don't know where the music is coming from.

I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and hooked up with a girl dressed as an egg.

Long story short:
The chicken.

There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

I would never go bungee jumping. A broken rubber brought me into this world, a broken rubber isn't taking me out of it.

Without coffee, I could easily survive a zombie apocalypse. They'd think I'm one of them.

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

Okay, maybe sometimes I'm a little bit a-shole, but the world needs a-sholes. Otherwise where would shit go out?

If God didn't want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.

I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.

Ted: "Victoria was great."
Robin: "Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass."
Ted: "You mean you?"
Robin: "Thank you!"

Like, up the ass? Do you get used to that? I mean, the whole point of the digestive system is one-way traffic.

Is a male asshole tighter than a female asshole?

Damn. Chick's got an ass like an onion - makes me wanna cry.

I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!

Kim has a fat ass, so, like it would save her herself. It's like a floatation device.

I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.

Soap: "I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."

Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat!

If she says, "We can't have sex, I'm on my period", I would say, "Well, your ass isn't bleeding, is it?"

I enjoyed Halloween this year. I stuck two pumpkins down the back of my trousers and went as Kim Kardashian's arse.

I've got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. I think you know what I meant.

Facebook is manipulating the public almost everywhere on Earth. That is why they won't open source their algorithm.

ChatGPT is scary good. We are not far from dangerously strong AI.