Quotes and Sayings about Farting

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Quotes and Sayings about Farting

I put the art in fart.

Elon Musk - January 2020

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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin

8

Alcohol Funny Quotes

"There's perfect men around every corner", said God an made the Earth round.

5

Funny Quotes Singles & Dating

Working out makes people more comfortable with their naked bodies. So does Tequila.

3

Funny Quotes Tequila Being naked

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

George Carlin

2

Funny Quotes Santa Claus Bad Girls

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

2

Smoking Funny Quotes

Bacteria is the only culture some people have.

2

Foolishness Culture Funny Quotes

If you're not careful, Netflix & Chill can turn into Disney+ & Children pretty damn fast.

1

Funny Quotes Netflix

Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure that they are not the same hours.

T. Boone Pickens

1

Work Sleeping Funny Quotes

What would I put in a museum? Probably a museum. That's an amusing relic of our past.

John Hodgman

1

Funny Quotes Museums

Wade: "What can I get for $275 and a Yogurtland rewards card?"
Vanessa: "Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the f*ck you want. And a low-fat dessert."

Vanessa Carlysle in Deadpool

1

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.

George H. W. Bush

1

Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.

Hubert H. Humphrey

1

Weddings Funny Quotes Mothers in law Marriage

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

Mary Wilson Little

1

Laziness Funny Quotes Fun

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

Oscar Levant

1

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Oscar Levant

1

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Mitch Hedberg

1

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Jerry Seinfeld

1

My first words, as I was being born I looked up at my mother and said, "that's the last time I'm going up one of those!"

Stephen Fry

My mind is like an internet browser - I have 23 tabs open, 4 are frozen, and I don't know where the music is coming from.

I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and hooked up with a girl dressed as an egg.

Long story short:
The chicken.

Funny Quotes Chicken & Roosters Eggs

There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

Nigel Powers in Austin Powers - Goldmember

Funny Quotes Netherlands

I would never go bungee jumping. A broken rubber brought me into this world, a broken rubber isn't taking me out of it.

Without coffee, I could easily survive a zombie apocalypse. They'd think I'm one of them.

Funny Quotes Coffee

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

Ray Embrey in Hancock

9

How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?

Cisco Ramon in The Flash

2

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

Perry Cox in Scrubs - Season 2 Episode 5

2

Okay, maybe sometimes I'm a little bit a-shole, but the world needs a-sholes. Otherwise where would shit go out?

Dusan Mirkovic in Downsizing

1

If God didn't want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 4

1

I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.

Luke Hobbs in Fast and Furious

1

Funny Insults Ass

Ted: "Victoria was great."
Robin: "Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass."
Ted: "You mean you?"
Robin: "Thank you!"

Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 24

1

Like, up the ass? Do you get used to that? I mean, the whole point of the digestive system is one-way traffic.

Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 1

Is a male asshole tighter than a female asshole?

Emma Meyer in Gen V - Season 1 Episode 5

Damn. Chick's got an ass like an onion - makes me wanna cry.

Hank Schrader in Breaking Bad - Season 1 Episode 6

I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!

Buzz McCallister in Home Alone

Kim has a fat ass, so, like it would save her herself. It's like a floatation device.

Khloé Kardashian in The Kardashians

I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.

Steve-O in Jackass

Soap: "I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."

Tom in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat!

Aubrey in Pitch Perfect

If she says, "We can't have sex, I'm on my period", I would say, "Well, your ass isn't bleeding, is it?"

Macho-Jokes Ass Dark Humor

I enjoyed Halloween this year. I stuck two pumpkins down the back of my trousers and went as Kim Kardashian's arse.

Jimmy Carr - via Twitter

Kim Kardashian Halloween Ass

I've got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. I think you know what I meant.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 18

Today, the America Party is formed to give you back your freedom.

Elon Musk - July 2025

Donald Trump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public.
Have a nice day, DJT!

Elon Musk - Juni 2025

Donald Trump 2025 The Epstein Files

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