Quotes from Family Matters

Quotes from Family Matters

Danger's my middle name. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Time to count our Christmas cards. One... now, let's read it!

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I can't help it, Laura. I'm drawn to you. Like a moth to a flame. A bee to a blossom. A mouse to cheese.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Eddie: 'Urkel, why don't you ever knock?'
Steve Urkel: 'Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: 'Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!'
Steve Urkel: 'You heard her, you're all witnesses. She actually said, 'Human Being'. She's mine!'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: 'How long have we known each other?'
Steve Urkel: 'Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds... sixteen seconds.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I know I'm not worthy of you. But I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star - you know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying.

Desire, Breakup & Lovesick, Love declerationsSteve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 2 Episode 3
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Edward: 'I still got a chance, it's between me and two other guys. They're better with the hose, but I'm the smartest.'
Laura: 'And they find their way to work every morning?'

Laura Winslow in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 15
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Laura: Forget it, Steve, I don't even have time to be mean!'
Steve Urkel: 'Great, maybe I'll stay a while.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Carl, you don't cook, you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast, you're the only man I know who burns Jell-O.

Harriette Winslow in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Laura: 'Hide-and-seek, that's it.'
Steve Urkel: 'Oh, great, my parents play this with me all the time. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Edward: 'That's it. I've had it with that dog.'
Harriette: 'What happened?'
Edward: 'Look what he did to my algebra homework!'
Harriette: 'Tell your teacher your dog ate it.'
Edward: 'I can't, I used that excuse before we got the dog.'

Edward Winslow in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 13
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Steve Urkel: 'Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Did you think of me while you guys were camping?'
Laura Winslow: 'Yeah, every time I used the bug spray.'

Laura Winslow in Family Matters
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Estelle Winslow: 'Steve, how did you get so good at checkers?'
Steve Urkel: 'Practice. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Lt. Murtaugh: 'They're sending in that Urkel kid.'
Carl Winslow: 'What? We've got cheerleaders taller than him.'

Carl Winslow in Family Matters
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Judy Winslow: 'Mom, when's dinner? We're starved.'
Harriette: 'Soon, baby. Your dad's runnin' late.'
Laura: 'Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke!'

Laura Winslow in Family Matters
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Laura: 'Where did you get the money for this?'
Steve Urkel: 'From my stay-away fund. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Clarence: 'Yo, you a serious little nerd.'
Steve Urkel: 'No, I AM a serious little nerd. You see, I use verbs. Verbs are our friends. They help move along our sentences.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: 'Thank you, Steve. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that.'
Steve Urkel: 'Oh, I understand.'
Laura: 'You did good.'
Steve Urkel: 'You love me, don't you?'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Chicago, lock up your daughters! Mt. Urkel is about to erupt.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Steve Urkel: 'I've taken a vow of chastity.'
Carl: 'Steve, you've always been chaste.'
Steve Urkel: 'Yeah, but now I have an excuse.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Carl: 'Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom?'
Steve Urkel: 'You yelled at me and you called me a butthead.'
Carl: 'Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead?'
Steve Urkel: 'Yes. It was my nickname in preschool.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Characters from Family Matters