Quotes from Family Matters

Quotes from Family Matters

Danger's my middle name. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Time to count our Christmas cards. One... now, let's read it!

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I can't help it, Laura. I'm drawn to you. Like a moth to a flame. A bee to a blossom. A mouse to cheese.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Eddie: "Urkel, why don't you ever knock?"
Steve Urkel: "Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: "Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!"
Steve Urkel: "You heard her, you're all witnesses. She actually said, 'Human Being'. She's mine!"

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: "How long have we known each other?"
Steve Urkel: "Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds... sixteen seconds."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I know I'm not worthy of you. But I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star - you know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying.

Desire, Breakup & Lovesick, Love declerationsSteve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 2 Episode 3
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Edward: "I still got a chance, it's between me and two other guys. They're better with the hose, but I'm the smartest."
Laura: "And they find their way to work every morning?"

Laura Winslow in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 15
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Laura: Forget it, Steve, I don't even have time to be mean!"
Steve Urkel: "Great, maybe I'll stay a while."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Carl, you don't cook, you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast, you're the only man I know who burns Jell-O.

Harriette Winslow in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Laura: "Hide-and-seek, that's it."
Steve Urkel: "Oh, great, my parents play this with me all the time. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Edward: "That's it. I've had it with that dog."
Harriette: "What happened?"
Edward: "Look what he did to my algebra homework!"
Harriette: "Tell your teacher your dog ate it."
Edward: "I can't, I used that excuse before we got the dog."

Edward Winslow in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 13
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Steve Urkel: "Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Did you think of me while you guys were camping?"
Laura Winslow: "Yeah, every time I used the bug spray."

Laura Winslow in Family Matters
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Estelle Winslow: "Steve, how did you get so good at checkers?"
Steve Urkel: "Practice. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Lt. Murtaugh: "They're sending in that Urkel kid."
Carl Winslow: "What? We've got cheerleaders taller than him."

Carl Winslow in Family Matters
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Judy Winslow: "Mom, when's dinner? We're starved."
Harriette: "Soon, baby. Your dad's runnin' late."
Laura: "Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke!"

Laura Winslow in Family Matters
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Laura: "Where did you get the money for this?"
Steve Urkel: "From my stay-away fund. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Clarence: "Yo, you a serious little nerd."
Steve Urkel: "No, I AM a serious little nerd. You see, I use verbs. Verbs are our friends. They help move along our sentences."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: "Thank you, Steve. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that."
Steve Urkel: "Oh, I understand."
Laura: "You did good."
Steve Urkel: "You love me, don't you?"

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Chicago, lock up your daughters! Mt. Urkel is about to erupt.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Steve Urkel: "I've taken a vow of chastity."
Carl: "Steve, you've always been chaste."
Steve Urkel: "Yeah, but now I have an excuse."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Carl: "Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom?"
Steve Urkel: "You yelled at me and you called me a butthead."
Carl: "Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead?"
Steve Urkel: "Yes. It was my nickname in preschool."

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Characters from Family Matters