The best Quotes from Family Guy

The best Quotes from Family Guy

Family Guy is an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane for the Fox Broadcasting Company.

Quagmire: "You got to help me. I'm looking for a little boy with red overalls and a yellow shirt."
French Man: "You are looking to buy or to rent?"
Quagmire: "What? No! God! How is Paris considered a classy city?"
French Man: "The buildings are beautiful, the people are trash."

Glenn Quagmire

Chris: "Now you just take that beautiful hair down to the salon, and you'll be a ten."
Stewie: "On a scale of a billion?"

Stewie Griffin - Season 17 Episode 13

Peter: "How can I be a DJ? I'm just a guy with a laptop and an inflated self-image."
Quagmire: "Trust me, you're perfect!"

Glenn Quagmire - Season 15 Episode 12

How come you Eastern European guys can't be quiter in p*rnos? I mean, nobody has ever been like, 'yeah, yeah, more guy noises!'

Glenn Quagmire - Season 15 Episode 10

Kidnapper: "You guys watch the main cabin, I will find them. I'll take that fat guy as a human shield."
Peter: "Oh, nice, last guy picked for dodgeball, first guy for human shield."

Peter Griffin - Season 15 Episode 10

'Okay, nobody move!"
Cleveland: "Oh my god, those guys in first class have guns."
Peter: "Cleveland, just be happy with what you have. Don't envy people!"

Peter Griffin - Season 15 Episode 10

1

Peter: "Well, I got the results of your ultrasound and I got some news for ya."
Pregnant Woman: "Wait, wait, wait, we don't wanna if it's a boy or a girl."
Peter: "Oh, okay. Well, IT's not breathing."

Peter Griffin - Season 14 Episode 2

Lois: "You're drunk again!"
Peter: "No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking."

Peter Griffin - Season 2 Episode 20

1

Lois: "Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!"
Peter: "That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!"

Peter Griffin - Season 2 Episode 20

1

My God, it's finally happened. He's become so massive he's collapsed into himself like a neutron star.

Stewie Griffin - Season 2 Episode 17

1

You're the worst thing to happen to musical theater since Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Stewie Griffin - Season 2 Episode 7

1

Andrew Lloyd Webber

Chris, this is a big day for you. Today you become the man of the house, because when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.

Peter Griffin - Season 1 Episode 3

Brian: "Hey Stewie, how do ya not know about trick-or-treating?!"
Stewie: "How do YOU not know that your reflection on your mirror is not another dog?"

Stewie Griffin

I've got an idea. An idea so smart that my head would explode, if I even began to know what I'm talking about.

Peter Griffin

Lois: "Why should I get my tubes tied? You should get a vasectomy!"
Peter: "First, I don't know what that is. And two, no freakin' way."

Peter Griffin - Season 4 Episode 22

Lois: "I think I'm pregnant."
Peter: "Oh, are you sure it's yours?"

Peter Griffin - Season 4 Episode 22

Lois, men aren't fat. Only fat women are fat.

Peter Griffin - Season 4 Episode 22

Boy, fat sex is the best sex we've ever had! Last night there were so many boobs I didn't know who's boobs I was grabbin'.

Peter Griffin - Season 4 Episode 22

Peter: "I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley..."
Brian: "Peter those aren't your kids. That's the Nick-At-Night lineup."
Peter: "...Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda..."
Brian: "That's Street Fighters!"
Peter: "...red, blue, green..."
Brian: "Those are colors!"

Peter Griffin - Season 4 Episode 22

Lois: "You've never even had a boyfriend more than a few weeks."
Meg: "I have two, remember when I dated the Count?"
Count Count: "One nipple. Two nipples. Three nip- oh, hell no! I'm outta here!"

Meg Griffin

Ouh, that's gotta hurt worse than getting a birthday telegram from Zinédine Zidane.

Stewie Griffin

Zinedine Zidane

If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer; you'd need an egg calendar.

Stewie Griffin

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The resistance to science is idiotic.

Seth MacFarlane

I can't believe I am hosting the Oscars. It's an honor everyone else said no.

Seth MacFarlane

1

If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.

Seth MacFarlane

My goal in life is to enjoy what I do, and never to look back and say 'I wish I would have done that'.

2

There is no handbook about how a career is going to go.

1

I miss everything about Chicago - except January and February.

Chicago January February

Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it… because it ends in 40 feet.

"The Phantom of the Opera" is about love. It's as simple as that.

Andrew Lloyd Webber

The Phantom of the Opera Operas

Real Madrid is the most important thing that happened to me, both as a footballer and as a person.

Zinedine Zidane

So you're single? In Paris? Now I'm even more jealous. I mean, your life is croissants and sex.

Madeline Wheeler in Emily in Paris - Season 1 Episode 3

1

Related pages to Family Guy

Peter Griffin

Stewie Griffin

Seth MacFarlane

Rhode Island

The best Quotes from Cartoons

Glenn Quagmire

Andrew Lloyd Webber

Zinedine Zidane