Quote by Erling Haaland (January 2021)

I went two games without scoring so it was about time.

Erling Haaland - January 2021

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My first girlfriend always complained about me not spending enough time with her. One day she made me choose between her and football. I miss her sometimes.

Erling Haaland

The day I do an interview over one minute will be the day I quit football.

Erling Haaland

We're in good shape. So now, Dortmund is coming!

Erling Haaland (as player for Borussia Dortmund) - April 2021

Borussia Dortmund

Listen, I do my job on the pitch. After the match I want to hit the showers, and crack a few cold ones with the boys - not answer questions reporters already know the answers to.

Erling Haaland

What a night! You need a hattrick? Call me!

Erling Haaland - July 2019, after scoring a hattrick in his CL debut

It's not bad, but it could have been more than that.

Erling Haaland (as player for Borussia Dortmund) - October 2020, about his 17 goals in 18 games

Borussia Dortmund

I have scored 50+ goals and won the treble, but still I didn't win the Ballon d'Or. If it were Messi in my place, he would have won it. The award lost its value, and I won't be attending any more ceremonies.

Erling Haaland - Oktober 2023

People say meat is bad for you, but which? The meat you get at McDonald's? Or the local cow eating grass right over there? I eat the heart and the liver.

Erling Haaland - Haaland: The Big Decision

I've always been liking the Premier League and I'm settling in good. The tempo is nice. The vibe is nice. I like England.

Erling Haaland - October 2022

Manchester City F.C.

I am very angry. We just weren't good enough. It is a tremendous disappointment. We had a good chance to qualify for the Eurocup

Erling Haaland - June 2021

Journalist: "What about this viking scream after the first goal?"
Haaland: "I've been in the gym a little bit more than normal lately so I felt a boost in my biceps. It felt good to get it out. It was a nice goal."

Erling Haaland - May 2021, after winning the DFB Pokal

Current health status for the ones wondering: pissed off. Second time in 4 months they kill me.

Mino Raiola - April 2022, about false news about his death

Do you want a dictator as president of FIFA or a democracy? Even a 15-year-old kid knows that the only good thing about FIFA is the video game.

Mino Raiola

FIFA Association

Sepp Blatter is a demented dictator. It makes me deeply sick just to think about Blatter being re-elected.

Mino Raiola

Sepp Blatter FIFA Association

If Mario Balotelli had Zlatan Ibrahimovic's head, Lionel Messi would have fewer Ballon d'Or awards.

Mino Raiola

Lionel Messi Mario Balotelli Zlatan Ibrahimović

Pep Guardiola, the coach, is fantastic. As a person he's an absolute zero. He's a coward, a dog.

Mino Raiola

Pep Guardiola

I think Cruyff and Guardiola can go to a mental hospital together, shut up, sit there and play cards together. They would do football and Barcelona a great service.

Mino Raiola

FC Barcelona

Fake news travel quick and far.

Mino Raiola - April 2021

Fake News

Some people need to talk for fear of being forgotten. Paul Scholes wouldn't recognize a leader if he was in front of Sir Winston Churchill.

Mino Raiola - August 2018

We'll be waiting for him like a wife, waiting for her husband to be released from prison.

Jürgen Klopp (as coach for Borussia Dortmund) - about the hurt Mats Hummels

Borussia Dortmund

When Dortmund won here for the last time, 19 years ago, most of my players have still been quenched.

Jürgen Klopp

Borussia Dortmund Funny Football Quotes

After seven years of Jürgen Klopp in Dortmund, we're more used to having Late Night Shows instead of press conferences.

Mats Hummels - October 2020, about the calmness of his coach Favre

Jürgen Klopp Borussia Dortmund

I think because the fans are so close with the team, because the city is so connected by football, it just means more.

Jude Bellingham - January 2023

Borussia Dortmund

Jürgen Klopp told me the other day to take good care of his "ex". I know how much he loves that club.

Marco Rose (as coach for Borussia Dortmund) - August 2021

Jürgen Klopp Borussia Dortmund

The fans of Borussia Dortmund are truly amazing. It is hard to describe what you feel when you play in front of them, the atmosphere they create not only on the yellow wall with its 25000-something fans jumping up and down a full 90-plus minutes of every game, no matter the score or the opponent.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (as player for Borussia Dortmund)

Borussia Dortmund

I don't think about money when I make these kinds of decisions. I play for the love of the game. I loved the feeling I got from Real Madrid.

Jude Bellingham - June 2023

Real Madrid

I want to finish with dignity so in a good club. It doesn't mean that to go USA or Qatar or Dubai is not good but I don't see myself there.

Cristiano Ronaldo - November 2015

Dubai

What am I supposed to say about that? I'm a goalkeeper.

Manuel Neuer (as player at Bayern Munich) - December 2019, about making use of goal opportunities at Bayern Munich

Bayern Munich

Since I left France, everything has gone downhill. France needs me, I don't need France. Even if you have Mbappé, Neymar and Messi, it doesn't help you because you don't have God.

Zlatan Ibrahimović - October 2022

Neymar Paris Saint-Germain

I'm truly saddened by the death of Her Majesty, The Queen. What an outpouring of love and respect we saw for the Platinum Jubilee for her life of service. How devastated we all feel today shows what she has meant to people in this country and around the world.

David Beckham - September 2022

Death of Queen Elizabeth II

We have to accept the quality of the opponent, this is maybe the most dangerous attacking side at the moment in Europe.

Thomas Tuchel (as coach for Chelsea F.C.) - February 2022

Liverpool F.C.

We will come back.

Kylian Mbappé - December 2022, on Argentina winning the World Cup

France FIFA World Cup 2022

Losing hurts me... it's something I still haven't learned to live with. Yesterday when I lost, I went to give a hug to the biggest and best in history. My friend and brother Messi.

Neymar - July 2021, after Copa América finals

Lionel Messi

I have dreamed of this. This is a historic night for this club and for me, this is my first European title. I will remember this for all my life.

Rafael Santos Borré - May 2022, about Eintracht Frankfurt winning the Europa League

Eintracht Frankfurt

Ed Sheeran did what I haven't seen too often before: Make people smile when leaving the Schalke Arena.

Toni Kroos - July 2022

Ed Sheeran FC Schalke 04 Funny Football Quotes

If Barcelona was a German club, they'd be a case for a liquidator.

Uli Hoeneß - September 2021

FC Barcelona

Bayern Munich's crowning achievement came with a 1-0 victory over Paris Saint-Germain in the UEFA Champions League final in Lisbon. Kingsley Coman, a Parisian and former PSG prospect, scored early in the second half. Manuel Neuer, the brilliant goalkeeper, made sure the lead stood up.

(The Washington Post) - August 2020, about Bayern Munich winning the Champions League

Manuel Neuer Bayern Munich Champions League

The Real Madrid shirt is white. It can stain of mud, sweat and even of blood, but never of shame.

Santiago Bernabéu

Real Madrid

I felt like a child amongst all the established players. First of all I had to prove myself in training and earn respect and over several months show what I was capable of.

Florian Wirtz - July 2021

Bayer 04 Leverkusen

All taxi drivers in Manchester are City fans. When you want to go to United, they'll drive you out in the sticks and dump you there.

Dino Toppmöller - August 2002

Manchester United Manchester City F.C.

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

Quote by Erling Haaland (January 2021)

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