Epic Rap Battles of History Quotes

Epic Rap Battles of History Quotes

Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) is a YouTube web series and music project created by Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist.

I would smack you, but in Germany we don't hit little girls
And I'm glad I'm deaf, so I can't hear that piece of sh-t "My World"

Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethooven

Even Elise wants to do me
And now that you're right next to me
I can understand, why they used a dog to play you in the movie

Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethooven

Mario Party's the only one you get invited to
Your life is like Skyrim, an endless quest of solitude

Nerd vs. Geek

1

You dumb motherf*cker, didn't Napoleon let you know?
When you conquer Russia, better pack some f*cking winter clothes

Hitler vs. Vader

Napoléon Bonaparte Adolf Hitler Russia

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Take your time to think, but when it is time to act, stop thinking and act!

Napoléon Bonaparte

12

Thinking Taking action

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Napoléon Bonaparte

6

Failures & Mistakes Enemies & Opponents

The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people. But because of the silence of good people.

Napoléon Bonaparte

4

The Germans have six months of winter and six months of no summer.

Napoléon Bonaparte

3

Summer Germany Winter

On victory, you deserve beer.
On defeat, you need it.

Napoléon Bonaparte

2

What else is a story than a lie everyone agrees on?

Napoléon Bonaparte

2

Chance is the only legitimate ruler of the universe.

Napoléon Bonaparte

2

Universe Chance & Randomness

Music is the voice that tells us that the human race is greater than it knows.

Napoléon Bonaparte

1

There's thieves that are never sanctioned although they steal the most precious thing one has: time.

Napoléon Bonaparte

1

The people love Nero. He inspires in them both affection and respect. One can discern the reason for this popular feeling: Nero oppressed the great and never burdened the ordinary people.

Napoléon Bonaparte

If I had to choose a religion, the sun as the universal giver of life would be my god.

Napoléon Bonaparte

Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

Napoléon Bonaparte

Revolution Opinions

You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.

Napoléon Bonaparte

A leader is a dealer in hope.

Napoléon Bonaparte

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

Napoléon Bonaparte

The bigger the lie, the more people believe in it.

Adolf Hitler

If we win, we don't have to explain ourselves. If we lose, there's nothing to explain.

Adolf Hitler

They say I'm up and coming, like I'm f*cking in an elevator

Ed Sheeran - You need me but I don't need you

7

You're pointless as Rapunzel with f*cking cornrows

Eminem - Rap God, Album: The Marshall Mathers LP 2

7

No matter how you try, n*ggas never die
We just retaliate with hate, then we multiply

2Pac - Nothing To Lose

5

We hit the spot to chill with the Fuji Grill
She ordered the Kobe beef, like Shaquille O'Neal

Kanye West - Back Like That

2

Kobe Bryant Shaquille O'Neal Punchlines

N*gga, you ain't ill in the booth
I'd die and do my next show as a hologram and still be realer than you
I'm the shit like I slithered in poo
I'm sicker than sticking my freaking d-ck inside of a b*tch's syph-lis cooch

Hopsin - Hop Is Back

2

Every country has its own mafia. In Russia, the mafia has its own country.

Garry Kasparov

2

I want to say thank you to each of you because we are together. And when we feel the reliable support of those standing beside us, Russia becomes one big family.

Vladimir Putin - New Year Eve’s address 2020/21

1

This country, Russia, has changed. Russia has become a real football country... where football has become part of the country's DNA and the culture.

Gianni Infantino

1

Russia Soccer World Championship 2018

Russia... the prequel and sequel to the Sowjet Union.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

1

Russia... the country that gave the world Tetris, merkins you wear on your heads, and potentially the 45th President of the United States.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

1

Donald Trump Russia US Elections Tetris

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

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