Quote from Blackadder (about Funny Insults, Donkeys)

Quote from Blackadder (about Funny Insults, Donkeys)

Prince George: "Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey."
Blackadder: "Oh, an absurd suggestion sir. Unless it was a particularly stupid donkey."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults Donkeys

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Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."

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Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

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Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large, you'd think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

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Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me - and THIS pencil.

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The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?

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Funny Insults Brain

There hasn't been a war run this badly since Olaf the hairy, King of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

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He's madder than Mad Jack McMad, the winner of last year's Mr Madman competition.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Your brain is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Pitt the Younger: "I intend to put my own brother up as a candidate against you."
Blackadder: "And which Pitt would this be? Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the Glint in the Milkman's Eye?"

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Lord Flashheart: "Enter the man who has no underwear. Ask me why."
Others: "Why do you have no underwear, Lord Flash?"
Lord Flashheart: "Because the pants haven't been built yet that'll take the job on."

Lord Flashheart in Blackadder

Baldrick: "I have a plan, sir."
Blackadder: "Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?"
Baldrick: "Yes, sir."
Blackadder: "As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?"

The suspect has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off his neck. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head off.

Baldrick: "I love my mum."
Blackadder: "And I love chops in sauce but I don't seek their advice."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Oh, Edmund. I do love it when you get cross. Sometimes I think about having you executed, just to see the expression on your face.

Queenie in Blackadder

Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Samuel Johnson: "This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language."
Blackadder: "Every single one, sir?"
Samuel Johnson: "Every single word, sir."
Blackadder: "Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Baldrick, you wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing "subtle plans are here again".

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunach's underpants.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Mrs Miggins: "Don't mind them Mr B, they're just being intellectual."
Blackadder: "There's nothing intellectual about wandering around Italy in a big shirt trying to get laid."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?!

Lord Flashheart in Blackadder

Blackadder: "Criminal record?"
Baldrick: "Absolutely not."
Blackadder: "Oh, come on, Baldrick. You're going to be an MP for God's sake. I'll just put fraud and sexual deviance."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot.

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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own satanic herd.

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The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.

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Christ, you two! All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.

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Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something.

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I'll be very clear here, because you and I face an evolutionary gap.

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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Dump-Quotes Funny Politician Quotes Funny Insults

I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.

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Funny Insults Ass

Student: "Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?"
Janis: "Your mom's chest hair!"

Griselda: "I heard that you liked my product."
Eddie 'The Bird' Rancon: "Beautiful. Was like shoving a f*cking coca plant up my nose."
Griselda: "Give the size of that thing I bet you have the whole f*cking brick up there."

Griselda Blanco in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1

Funny Insults Cocaine

My fists have a very strict diet... they only eat losers!

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Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.

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One of the both of us is smarter than you are.

I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll make an exception.

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Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out.

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