The best Quotes by E. Stanley Jones

The best Quotes by E. Stanley Jones

Eli Stanley Jones (1884–1973) was an American Methodist Christian missionary, theologian, and author.

Being born in a Christian home does not make you a Christian.

Victorious living does not mean freedom from temptation, nor does it mean freedom from mistakes.

Prayer is aligning ourselves with the purposes of God.

We grow small trying to be great.

The conscious mind determines the actions, the unconscious mind determines the reactions; and the reactions are just as important as the actions.

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What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends?
Old Bay.

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Maryland - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Christians who pray are like pillars that carry the world.

Martin Luther

1

Christianity Praying Day of Repentance and Prayer

You don't need to go to church to be a Christian. If you go to Taco Bell, that doesn't make you a taco.

Justin Bieber

1

Christianity Church

It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.

John Lennon

1

Music Christianity

Christianity is the best way to cure gayness - just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.

Stephen Colbert

Whether or not they think he was the actual son of God who performed miracles like walking on wine or helping a deaf man see, they all agree he preached tolerance and forgiveness, a message so important his most ardent followers would eventually start killing anyone who didn't want to hear it.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2

Christianity Jesus

What use is a god with boundless mercy, sir? You mock me as a pagan, yet the gods of my ancestors pronounce clearly their ways and punish severely when we break their laws. Your Christian god of mercy gives men licence to pursue their greed, their lust for land and blood, knowing a few prayers and a little penance will bring forgiveness and blessing.

Kazuo Ishiguro in The Buried Giant

Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.

Jim Jefferies

Christianity Santa Claus

Two american jewish men send their sons to Jerusalem to learn about their culture. A year later they are having a chat:

Man 1: "I am so disappointed in my son. Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian."
Man 2: "My son as well, this is a tragedy! We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us."
Rabbi: "Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you two. I sent my son to Jerusalem a few years ago and he also became christian. Only God can help us now, we should pray to him."
God: "You guys won't believe, but 2000 years ago I too sent my son to Jerusalem..."

Christianity Judaism Jerusalem

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

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