Dump-Quotes - That's how you dump someone!

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Actually, I wanted to stop being mean. But everyone else has to stop being dumb first.

Foolishness

"Hey, would you mind if I smoke a cigarette?"
"I wouldn't even mind when you lit yourself on fire."

Casanova: "Hello, beautiful. May I take this seat?"
Rachel Stone: "Take it anywhere you like."

Heart of Stone

I only want one thing of men, and that is, that they should leave me alone.

D. H. Lawrence in Lady Chatterley's Lover

Feminism

When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then, of course, you spoke.

Carol Connelly in As Good As It Gets

Mouth

"The only time you seem honest is when you're insulting someone!"
"The only honest things I can say to you are insults."

Brandon Sanderson in The Stormlight Archive - Words of Radiance

Funny Insults

If I were in your shoes I would be looking for someone a little more entertaining, a little more fun, and maybe even a little more attainable.

Jadzia Dax in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 5 Episode 3

They missed a great opportunity to shut up.

Jacques Chirac

Funny Politician Quotes Mouth

I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I'm not interested in dating anyone. I'm extremly busy with work and raising my son, and I just have no room in my life for the kind of intimacy you are clearly craving. But I really comment you on your directness and your bravado and I really hope that you find what you're looking for. Goodbye, now.

Dr. Jean Milburn in Sex Education - Season 1 Episode 2

Can't spell STUPID without U right in the middle.

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The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.

Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry James Potter Spirit Funny Insults

Christ, you two! All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.

Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad - Season 4 Episode 13

Funny Insults

Longbottom, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Weasley, and that's saying something.

Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Neville Longbottom Funny Insults

I'll be very clear here, because you and I face an evolutionary gap.

John Abruzzi in Prison Break - Season 1 Episode 7

Funny Insults

I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.

Luke Hobbs in Fast and Furious

Funny Insults Ass

Student: "Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?"
Janis: "Your mom's chest hair!"

Mean Girls

Funny Insults

Griselda: "I heard that you liked my product."
Eddie 'The Bird' Rancon: "Beautiful. Was like shoving a f*cking coca plant up my nose."
Griselda: "Give the size of that thing I bet you have the whole f*cking brick up there."

Griselda Blanco in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1

Funny Insults Cocaine

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults Brain

Your brain is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults

Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunach's underpants.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults

Prince George: "Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey."
Blackadder: "Oh, an absurd suggestion sir. Unless it was a particularly stupid donkey."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults Donkeys

My fists have a very strict diet... they only eat losers!

Balrog in Street Fighter - II

Funny Insults

The power of "no" means you're educating people in how to treat you.

Jessica Chastain

These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be.

Barack Obama - White House Correspondents' Dinner 2013

Funny Politician Quotes

Leno: "What's this thing with Trump and you? I don't get it, it's like me and Letterman - what has he got against you?"
Obama: "This all dates back to when we were growing up together in Kenya. We had constant run-ins on the soccer field."

Barack Obama - The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, October 2012

Funny Politician Quotes

If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all.

Thumper in Bambi

Kindness Mouth

A bl*wjob isn't with your mouth, it's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work.

Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 11

Mouth

A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.

D. H. Lawrence in Lady Chatterley's Lover

Women

It's amazing, isn't it? How someone can get so into your blood.

Lady Chatterley in Lady Chatterley's Lover - Film

Life breaks us, Teft. Then we fill the cracks with something stronger.

Brandon Sanderson in The Stormlight Archive - Oathbringer

Sad Quotes

Do not let your assumptions about a culture block your ability to perceive the individual, or you will fail.

Brandon Sanderson in The Stormlight Archive - Words of Radiance

Prejudice

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Winston Churchill

Optimism Pessimism

Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Sassy Quotes

Who's the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?

Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

Foolishness

You wanna know how great men get power? It's not because they earn it, or because they deserve it. It is because when the moment comes, they take it.

Parker in Heart of Stone

Power

The fairest thing in nature, a flower, still has its roots in earth and manure.

D. H. Lawrence

Beauty Flowers

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

Tucker Carlson

Feminism

You make me want to be a better man.

Melvin Udall in As Good As It Gets

Romantic Quotes

Tress considered herself to be categorically boring. She liked her tea lukewarm, she went to bed on time, she loved her parents, occasionally squabbled with her little brother, and didn't litter. She was fair at needlepoint, and had a talent for baking. But had no other noteworthy skills. She didn't train at fencing in secret, she couldn't talk to animals, she had no hidden royalty or deities in her lineage. Though her great-grandmother Glorf had once reportedly waved at the king.

Brandon Sanderson in Tress of the Emerald Sea

I've lived seven lifetimes, and I have never had a friend quite like you.

Jadzia Dax in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 4 Episode 6

Running may help for a little while, but sooner or later the pain catches up with you. And the only way to get rid of it is to stand your ground and face it.

Benjamin Lafayette Sisko in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 4 Episode 1

One can go to war alone, but you can't build peace alone.

Jacques Chirac

War Peace

Aimee: "Did you know you need, like, sugar and flour and an oven to bake? And you don't shove it all in, you have to follow alle these rules."
Maeve: "Yeah, it's called a recipe."

Maeve Wiley in Sex Education - Season 2 Episode 2

"I kind of lost track of time..."
"For two hours?"
Elend nodded sheepishly. "There were books involved."

Brandon Sanderson in Mistborn - The Well of Ascension

Books

Dump-Quotes - That's how you dump someone!

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