The best Quotes by Dudley Dursley

"They think I'm a waste of space, actually, but I'm used to -"
"I don't think you're a waste of space."
If Harry had not seen Dudley's lips move, he might not have believed it.

Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell. "Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."

Harry: "Five against one, very brave."
Dudley: "Well, you're one to talk. Moaning in your sleep every night. At least, I'm not afraid of my pillow."

Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true.

Dudley: "I know what day it is."
Harry: "Well done. You've finally learned the days of the week."

"Fought 'em off, did you, son?" said Uncle Vernon loudly, with the appearance of a man struggling to bring the conversation back on to a plane he understood. "Gave 'em the old one-two, did you?"
"You can't give a Dementor the old one-two," said Harry through clenched teeth.

Listen, Harry. If that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gives you any grief you could always threaten him with a nice pair of ears to go with that tail of his.

He's a boisterous little boy, but he would hurt a fly!

Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!

Apparently wizards poke their noses in everywhere!

You didn't just lose a mother that night in Godric's Hollow, you know. I lost a sister.

Vernon: "Anyway, it's not as if there'd be anything about his lot on our news -"
Petunia: "Vernon, shh! The window's open!"

It's addressed to me, Vernon, look! Mrs Petunia Dursley, The Kitchen, Number Four, Privet Drive.

Vernon: "Their son... he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"
Petunia: "I suppose so."
Vernon: "What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"
Petunia: "Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."

Lily: "I'm not a freak. That's a horrible thing to say."
Petunia: "That's where you're going. A special school for freaks."

I was the only one who saw her for what she was... a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!

How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that - that school - and came home every holiday with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was - a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!

Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they?

"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter-bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.

Harry Potter: "What if I accidentally let something slip?"
Uncle Vernon: "You'll get the stuffing knocked out of you, won't you?"

I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks!

What have I told you about saying the "M"-word in our house?

Uncle Vernon: "Fine day, Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?"
Harry: "Because there's no post on Sundays?"
Uncle Vernon: "Right you are, Harry! No post on Sundays. No blasted letters today! No, sir! Not one single bloody letter!"

Why we ever kept you in the first place, I don't know, Marge was right, it should have been the orphanage. We were too damn soft for our own good, thought we could squash it out of you, thought we could turn you normal, but you’ve been rotten from the beginning and I've had enough.

I do look a bit different because Dudley was a very piggish character and about three years ago I lost quite a considerable amount of weight.

It doesn't have to be a problem for children to be fat, but it does affect you: you aren't as happy in that skin.

I also started to eat sensibly. The weight just dropped off.

Toffee Crisp was my downfall.

I can now shed the child-actor thing, like the fat, and start a new career, because no one sees me as Dudley.

It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.

There is no good and evil, there is only power and those too weak to seek it.

After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.

You're the weak one. And you'll never know love, or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.

We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.

Ron: "One person couldn't feel all that. They'd explode."
Hermione: "Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have!"

Anything is possible if you got enough nerve.

Albus Severus, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.

I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.

"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir' Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.

Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. "After all this time?"
"Always", said Snape.

It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

Never be ashamed, there's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth botherin' with.

If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

Well, it may have escaped your notice, but life isn't fair.

Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

"Follow the spiders"... Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

"E" for "Exceeds Expectations". And I've always thought Fred and I should've got "E" in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams.

The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.