The best Quotes from Don't Look Up

I heard there's an asteroid or a comet or something that you don't like the looks of. Tell me about it and then tell me why you're telling me about it.

They charge an arm and a leg for this stuff. Ten apiece ought to do it.

Do we keep having a wonderful time or does he go back with you to Wisconsin? Or Montana. Michigan?

Randall Mindy: "There's a 100% certainty of impact."
Janie Orlean: "Please, don't say 100%."
Vice President: "Can we just call it a potentially significant event?"
Kate Dibiasky: "But it isn't potentially going to happen. It is going to happen."
Randall Mindy: "Exactly. 99.78% to be exact."
Jason Orlean: "Great. Okay, so it's not 100%."
Teddy Oglethorpe: "Well, scientists never like to say 100%."
Janie Orlean: "Call it 70% and let's just move on."

Ladies, Gentlemen, I wish you a very pleasant end of times.

Not everything needs to sound so clever, or charming, or likeable all the time. Sometimes we need to just be able to say things to one another. We need to hear things!

Phillip: "She did not say that you were a lesbian. It was a question."
Kate: "Hey, look, can I sit down with your mom to have lunch in, like, seven months?"
Phillip: "Seven. That's weirdly specific and distant. This is my mom!"

Dr. Randall Mindy: "This isn't real, right? This is just some sort of alternate reality, right? Say something!"
Kate Dibiasky: "I got to go get high."

Unless you aholes are taking me to the Batcave, f you for putting this hood on me!

I've been running it all day. I keep getting the same result. A direct hit of Earth in six months and fourteen days.

Are we really about to tell the president of the United States that we have just over six months until humankind, basically every species, is completely extinct?

Madam President, this comet is what we call a planet-killer.

What do these trillions of dollars even matter if we're all gonna die?

You cannot go around saying to people that there's 100% chance that they're gonna die.

This will affect the entire planet!

You're just telling a story. Keep it simple. No math.

You have to embrace getting older. Life is precious, and when you’ve lost a lot of people, you realize each day is a gift.

Don't waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living.

The minute you start caring about what other people think, is the minute you stop being yourself.

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.

I always wanted to be a film-maker when I was younger, not an actor. I was an eight-year-old who dreamed of being a writer on 'The Simpsons,' which was a weird dream to have. But I started taking acting classes as a way to learn how to direct actors and I sort of fell in love with it.

It's always better to shock people and change people's expectations than to give them exactly what they think you can do. It's not unexpected for me to be in a comedy film anymore; I'm no longer the underdog in that world. Not that I'm great or good at it or anything, it's just that I've done a bunch of them, so you're not shocked.

I've never had issues with popularity. I was always a popular guy... I've always had friends and loved ones and everything, so it wasn't like, 'Oh man, I gotta fill some void that was left by high school.' I had a great high-school experience.

All my friends were in college when I was making 'Superbad.' We were drinking beer and watching movies and eating pizza. It wasn't like I was going to nice restaurants or anything like that, and I lived like a frat guy. Eventually it was time to grow up, be healthy and be responsible. You can't live like a kid forever, you know?

I play a lot of games on my iPhone. There is a game called Rat on a Scooter that I will promote as much as possible because it has brought me so much joy.

Even in the darkness, diamonds still shine.

Why would anyone want to be a pirate? It's the best thing there is. Wind in your back. The salty sea air. Loyal crew by your side.

What if everything that came from the past were influenced by the future?

It takes much more courage to be in love than it does for war.

Don't exploit an advantage just because it emerges; wait until the optimal moment, then strike.

Ats Ayittey: "Excuse me but this is the quiet carriage."
Stefan Tovell: "Shut the f*ck up then."

"Hey. Do you like bad boys?"
"Sure do. Let me know if you find one."

Marcus: "My bike. It's gone. She took it."
Max: "So that's like Grand Theft Auto. Or Grand Theft Bike."

Aimee: "Did you know you need, like, sugar and flour and an oven to bake? And you don't shove it all in, you have to follow alle these rules."
Maeve: "Yeah, it's called a recipe."

I think love should come out of nowhere, sweep you up completely.

The people's rage. It is like an illness, an ulcer. And ulcers must be cauterized.

People say Hawkins is cursed. They're not way off.

Weems: "No doubt you'll find something that tickles your fancy."
Wednesday: "The last person who tickled me lost a finger."

I'm responsible for my own happiness? I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast!

Even people that have made mistakes deserve happiness.

Charlie: "You didn't have to do that. I'm used to people saying stuff about me."
Nick: "No. But you shouldn't have to be. People shouldn't be saying stuff about you in the first place. You shouldn't have to put up with anything like that."