The saddest thing in life is havin' to say goodbye to the person you want to spend that life with.King Zøg in Disenchantment, Season 2 Episode 4
Zøg: 'I'd like to tell you something about understandin' women.'
Zøg: 'I said I'd like to, doesn't mean I can.'
Leavo: 'Stone socks? 'Tis no treasure.'
Bean: 'I thought the liquid only stonified living things?'
Zøg: 'You don't know my socks.'
This loon thought the world was round. This nut married a duck. This vision of beauty tried to drown her grandchildren. Luckily, they were all ducks.Jerry in Disenchantment, Season 2 Episode 1
I'm just about at the end of my 24-hour shift. There it is. Well, back to work.Jerry in Disenchantment, Season 2 Episode 1
Bean: 'Wow, that's the best soup I ever had!'
Dagmar: 'It's Whiskey.'
I only got in trouble once, and... um.. Daddy Elfo um... slapped me on the bum bum.Elfo in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 3
Queen Dagmar: 'Sounds to me like he deserves a marvelous funeral.'
King Zøg: 'Great idea. I'll get someone to fish him out of the corpse pit.'
Maybe that's why I've had such low elf-esteem.Elfo in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 9
Bean: 'I just realized something. You're the reason I have a drinking problem.'
Zøg: 'Of course I am. I'm your father.'
Lying to me in any other way than flattery is a mortal crime.King Zøg in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 9
Oh, floor, you're always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.Princess Bean in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 6
Luci: 'I can't believe he called you a worthless, bucktoothed degenerate.'
Bean: 'He didn't say that.'
Luci: 'Doesn't make it any less true.'
Maybe reality is the dream and dreams are reality. You ever think about that?Luci in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 4
It's a lemon, guys. It's what we feed children in hell.Luci in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 3
Some might say her cries for help were a cry for help, but I think she was just being an attention hog.Luci in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 3
Lady Lingonberry: 'I'm drowning!'
Elfo: 'I'm Elfo!'
Bean: 'I'm gonna have to kill him or something.'
Luci: 'Do it! Do it! Do it! And after you kill him we can hide the body. Then we could join the search party and you and I can look at each other and try not to laugh.'
Your cruddy life is worth living, Bean. And so is mine... if you live.Elfo in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 2
Destiny is baloney. Your future is not foretold. It's what you make of it.Elfo in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 1
Bean: 'What's this weird feeling I don't want to drink away?'
Elfo: 'That's hope. That's hope!'
Luci: 'You know what we say in hell? 'Hope's for dopes.''
Bean: 'You two sleep down at my feet. I call it the friend zone.'
Luci: 'Get comfortable. You ain't never getting outta here.'
Hey, he's making fun of my dreams. That's what friends do.Elfo in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 1
I wanna taste something other than sweetness. I wanna cry salty tears, learn bitter truths. I wanna take a big, meaty bite out of life and dip it in mustard.Elfo in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 1
All this wedding hassle for a stupid political alliance? I thought that I'd get married for true love, or because I was wasted.Princess Bean in Disenchantment, Season 1 Episode 1