Quotes from Disenchantment

Whoa, this is big. I really need some time to drink about this.

Man, after-work drinks taste so much better than instead-of-work drinks.

Elfo: "What about me? Nobody cared either time I came back to life."
Luci: "I was disappointed both times. Disappointment's a form of caring."

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

I always wanted to get lost in a labyrinth. It's like a puzzle you solve with your feet.

Oh my gosh, it's exactly like my bedroom from when I was little! What are these frilly dresses doing in my liquor cabinet?

By order of the king, me, Derek, I, we do declare Dreamland is now a theocracy. All power emanates from this holy throne and the ass therein ensconced.

You know, if there's one thing I've learned, it's when you're stuck in a cave with your psycho mum, the best thing to do is play along.

The saddest thing in life is havin' to say goodbye to the person you want to spend that life with.

Zøg: "I'd like to tell you something about understandin' women."
Bean: "Yes?"
Zøg: "I said I'd like to, doesn't mean I can."

Leavo: "Stone socks? 'Tis no treasure."
Bean: "I thought the liquid only stonified living things?"
Zøg: "You don't know my socks."

This loon thought the world was round. This nut married a duck. This vision of beauty tried to drown her grandchildren. Luckily, they were all ducks.

I'm just about at the end of my 24-hour shift. There it is. Well, back to work.

Bean: "Wow, that's the best soup I ever had!"
Dagmar: "It's Whiskey."

I only got in trouble once, and... um.. Daddy Elfo um... slapped me on the bum bum.

Queen Dagmar: "Sounds to me like he deserves a marvelous funeral."
King Zøg: "Great idea. I'll get someone to fish him out of the corpse pit."

Maybe that's why I've had such low elf-esteem.

Bean: "I just realized something. You're the reason I have a drinking problem."
Zøg: "Of course I am. I'm your father."

Lying to me in any other way than flattery is a mortal crime.

Oh, floor, you're always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.

Luci: "I can't believe he called you a worthless, bucktoothed degenerate."
Bean: "He didn't say that."
Luci: "Doesn't make it any less true."

Maybe reality is the dream and dreams are reality. You ever think about that?

It's a lemon, guys. It's what we feed children in hell.

Some might say her cries for help were a cry for help, but I think she was just being an attention hog.

Lady Lingonberry: "I'm drowning!"
Elfo: "I'm Elfo!"

Bean: "I'm gonna have to kill him or something."
Luci: "Do it! Do it! Do it! And after you kill him we can hide the body. Then we could join the search party and you and I can look at each other and try not to laugh."

Your cruddy life is worth living, Bean. And so is mine... if you live.

Destiny is baloney. Your future is not foretold. It's what you make of it.

Bean: "What's this weird feeling I don't want to drink away?"
Elfo: "That's hope. That's hope!"
Luci: "You know what we say in hell? 'Hope's for dopes.'"

Bean: "You two sleep down at my feet. I call it the friend zone."
Luci: "Get comfortable. You ain't never getting outta here."

Hey, he's making fun of my dreams. That's what friends do.

I'd rather die a big death than live a small life.

I wanna taste something other than sweetness. I wanna cry salty tears, learn bitter truths. I wanna take a big, meaty bite out of life and dip it in mustard.

All this wedding hassle for a stupid political alliance? I thought that I'd get married for true love, or because I was wasted.