The best Quotes by Dick Gregory

The best Quotes by Dick Gregory

Richard Claxton Gregory (October 12, 1932 – August 19, 2017) was an American actor, comedian, writer, activist and social critic. His writings were best sellers. Gregory became popular among the African-American communities in the southern United States with his "no-holds-barred" sets, poking fun at the bigotry and racism in the United States.

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

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As a native Washingtonian, I am well aware that childhood obesity is a real problem in our nation's capital.
The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets.
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
1
I call Washington "the city of the perishable".
Nancy Pelosi (as Speaker of the US House of Representatives)
Let me give you a little bit of free advice. DC is all about realtionships.
Kimble Hookstraten in Designated Survivor - Season 1 Episode 9
Alex: "You can't do that. You can't make promises that you won't be able to keep!"
Tom: "We're in Washington, they're the only promises we're allowed to make."
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog!
Washington, D.C. is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
Ethel: "One day the entire family will be reunited in the Garden of Eden."
"Oh, like heaven?"
Ethel: "No, it's in Missouri."
"Oh. Eden's got a lot of methheads."
Shameless - Season 2 Episode 5
Did you know only one US president has been born in Missouri?
It's true, man.
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Missouri - and that's pretty much the same thing.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
5
Wealth is a nightmare. With each coveted thing we buy, we lose a thing we dream about.
2
Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?
Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12
5
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
1
Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.
Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017
One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".
2
To never be sick can't be healthy.
F*ck reason - long live the nonsense!
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.
Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.
Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
This is the end of Wladimir Putin.
Jan Böhmermann - February 2022
Dubai accomplished that boom through lots of hard work... by slaves.
Jan Böhmermann (ZDF Magazin Royale) - vom 12.02.2021
People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.
Steve Harvey - February 2021
Harvey: "You gonna sit up here on national TV and say 'nekkid', and then point at the damn board like we gonna let you get away with it!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"
Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.
The only time you should look back in life is to see how far you have come.
Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - The Truth Behind Music Streaming
You don't need to show up like a SWAT Team to rescue a Barbie from a little girl. If anything, you should be rescuing the little girl from the Barbie. Should be getting there like, "little girl, watch out! That Barbie can give you a warped sense of what a woman's body is supposed to be!"
Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
The language you are about to hear… is disturbing.
The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.
Oliver Welke in heute-show - Sendung vom 24.04.2020
We are looking at the biggest economic crash since 1970.
And thanks to closed barber-shops, we'll soon look like the 70s again.
Oliver Welke in heute-show - April 2020

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