Gru: "Mom, someday, I'm going to go to the moon!"
Gru's Mom: "I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore."
Agnes: "Your head is really smooth. Sometimes, I stare at it and imagine a little chick popping out. Peep, peep, peep."
Gru: "Good night, Agnes... never get older!"
Gru: "Hello, Fred. FYI. Your dog has been leaving little bombs in my yard, and I do not appreciate it."
Fred McDade: "Oh you know dogs... they go where they want to go."
Gru: "...unless they're dead."
That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.Despicable Me, by Gru
Gru: "Who are you texting?"
Margo: "No one. Just my friend Avery."
Gru: "Avery? Is that a girl's name or a boy's name?"
Margo: "Does it matter?"
Gru: "No, it doesn't matter... unless it's a boy!"
Life is just like that sometimes. We're hoping for a unicorn, and we get a goat.Despicable Me - 3, by Gru
Just because everybody hates it, it doesn't mean it's not good!Despicable Me - 3, by Gru
One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down. They made him laugh, they made him cry. He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he can never part from those three little kittens that changed his heart.Despicable Me, by Gru
I said "Dart Gun", not "Fart Gun"!Despicable Me, by Gru
Edith: "Can I drink this?"
Dr. Nefario: "Do you want to explode?"
Silas Ramsbottom: "I am the League's director, Silas Ramsbottom."
Edith: "Are these beds made out of bombs?"
Gru: "Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn."
Gru: "Yes! Wait. What did you call us?"
Lucy: "Grucy. You know, Gru and Lucy mushed together. Try it."
Gru: "Oh! I like it, but not a lot. I don't like it."
Minions. Minions have been on this planet far longer than we have. They go by many names. Dave, Carl, Paul, Mike. Oh, that one is Norbert. He's an idiot. They're all different, but they all share the same goal. To serve the most despicable master they could find. Making their master happy was the tribe's very reason for existence. But that's not to say that they didn't have other passions. Finding a boss was easy. But keeping a boss, therein lies the rub.Despicable Me - Minions
We stole the Statue of Liberty! The small one, from Las Vegas. I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower - also Vegas.Despicable Me, by Gru
Gru: "It is I, Gru... zinkerbell, the most magical fairy princess of all! And I am here to wish Princess Agnes a very happy birthday!"
Boy: "How come you're so fat?"
Gru: "Because my house is made of candy, and sometimes I eat instead of facing my problems."
He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!Despicable Me, by Agnes
Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. Oh, and there's probably something in your closet.Despicable Me, by Gru
I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet works.Despicable Me, by Gru
Margo: "Please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep."
Edith: "And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains."
We are going to pull off the true crime of the century. We are going to steal the moon!Despicable Me, by Gru
The tribe said their farewells. Kevin had given them something they hadn't had in a very long time. Hope. Kevin felt pride. He was going to be the one to save his tribe. Stuart felt hungry mostly. He was going to be the one to eat this banana. And Bob, Bob was frightened of the journey ahead. And they were Off. Off to find their new boss.Despicable Me - Minions
Madge Nelson: "Wow! So many bad guys in the car. What fun!"
Walter Nelson: "I knew it! I knew you were villains! Didn't I, honey? What a small world! Hope we're not in rival gangs."
I love England! The music, the fashion... I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday.Despicable Me - Minions, by Scarlett Overkill
And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn.Despicable Me, by Agnes
I'm applying for a villain loan. I go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, because I commit crimes with both direction and magnituide.Despicable Me, by Vector
Assemble the Minions!Despicable Me, by Gru