The best Quotes from Desperate Housewives

The best Quotes from Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives is an American comedy-drama mystery television series created by Marc Cherry and produced by ABC Studios and Cherry Productions. It aired for eight seasons on ABC from October 3, 2004, until May 13, 2012, for a total of 180 episodes.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care.
Bree Van De Kamp - Season 2 Episode 16
You should never trust a woman who just had her heart broken. We tend to lie.
Bree Van De Kamp - SeasonĀ 1 Episode 12
Human beings are designed for many things, but loneliness isn't one of them.
Mary Alice Young - Season 1 Episode 19
We all havee momeents of deespeeration. If we can face them head-on, that's when we find out, how strong we really are.
Mary Alice Young - Season 1 Episode 1
I want him to have what he wants - if it's what I want.
Lynette Scavo - Season 3 Episode 6
Tom's packin'! We're talkin' big, circus big. So big, he can drive in the car pool lane when he's alone. If it falls in the forest, believe me - it makes a sound. The Washington monument looks at it and says, "I want to be you when I grow up!"
Lynette Scavo - Season 7 EpisodeĀ 9
Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house!
Gabrielle Solis - Season 1 Episode 1
There's no bad guys here, there's just people trying to figure things out.
Lynette Scavo - Season 8 Episode 7
Rich and single, I wonder what he looks like - you rarely get the trifecta.
Lynette Scavo - Season 8 Episode 1
Baby. Number. Five. An entire basketball team has come out of me, so I'm officially too exhausted to care!
Lynette Scavo - Season 7 EpisodeĀ 1
Tom: "I never thought you'd want a fifth kid?"
Lynette: "I don't, but I didn't want the first four and they're starting to grow on me!"
Lynette Scavo - Season 3 Episode 7
We've had sex 23 days straight. I've seen more ceiling than Michelangelo!
Lynette Scavo - Season 5 Episode 21
Tom: "Are you as tired as I am?"
Lynette: "More. But I'm tougher, and I complain less."
Tom: "Not when you give birth - and you do that a lot."
Tom Scavo - Season 3 Episode 16
Parker, I'm your mother. Mothers don't lie to their sons. Now go wash your hands or santa's not gonna bring you anything for christmas.
Lynette Scavo - Season 2 Episode 19
We will find someone - someone who doesn't remember what they were doing the day Lincoln was shot.
Lynette Scavo - Season 2 Episode 15
It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.
Gabrielle Solis - Season 1 Episode 1
Gabrielle Solis: "I never bragged."
Lynette Scavo: "You once called your face 'proof of God's existence'."
Lynette: "You think doing laundry is throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and getting clean ones out of the drawer."
Porter: "That's how dad does it?!"
Tom: "O-okay, let's stay on topic!"
Tom Scavo - Season 7 Episode 15
Gabrielle: "She's Romanian! When your people are being chased into Argentina by angry cossacks, maybe a sparkling toilet isn't that important."
Carlos: "How about you stick to fractions, and I'll teach Juanita geography?"
Carlos Solis - Season 6 Episode 7
If you lay one finger on Ana, Carlos will knock every tooth out of your mouth, which will make you pretty darn popular in prison!
Gabrielle Solis - Season 6 Episode 4
Sister Mary: "Money can't buy happiness."
Gabrielle: "Well, sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep 'em from rioting."
Julie: "No man has seen you naked in years. Except your doctor."
Susan: "And he retired. I try not to take that personally."
Susan Mayer - Season 1 Episode 8
Andrew: "Mom...?"
Bree: "Please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking! Now what is it, dear?"
Andrew: "Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide. There's no rush, she's not trying that hard..."
Andrew Van de Kamp - Season 3 Episode 5
Bree: "Well, the key is to not let them know what you're doing. This requires observation, cunning and manipulation."
Gabrielle: "Isn't it just easier to shut down your hoo-ha until he gives in?"
Gabrielle Solis - Season 5 Episode 23
Bree: "The man's a doctor, for heaven sakes. You've done better than I did."
Orson: "That was a bit of a drive-by."
Orson Hodge - Season 5 Episode 10
Mike: "You're kidding. We're playing an actual gig?"
Tom: "In front of people who aren't listening just because I pay their allowance? Well, this is fantastic!"
Tom Scavo - Season 5 Episode 7
That pine shields my view of the Purcell's backyard, and if you had ever seen Mr. Purcell sunbathe, you'd know exactly what that tree means to me.
Bree Van De Kamp - Season 4 Episode 1
Gabrielle: "How about that? And here I was thinking some guy wants to murder me in my sleep."
Carlos: "The night's still young!"
Carlos Solis - Season 3 Episode 12

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The best thing about having four big brothers is you always have someone to do something for you.
My brother Trev went to the Professional Performing Arts School in New York, and he used to do his monologues and stuff and rehearse in our apartment. So I used to hear him all the time doing these things over and over and over. And when I was a little girl, I used to soak up everything - like anything anyone did, I soaked it up.
To be with the same person for the rest of your life just sounds so drab.
My acting is still being recognized for the fact that I wasn't nominated.
The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.
Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.
Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.
If you want more sex, just ask for it.

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Lynette ScavoGabrielle SolisChloe Grace MoretzEva LongoriaBree Van De KampTom ScavoMary Alice YoungPenissesThe best Quotes about being Single and DatingSingles & DatingSex