Quotes from Desperate Housewives

Quotes from Desperate Housewives

Gabrielle Solis: "I never bragged."
Lynette Scavo: "You once called your face 'proof of God's existence'."

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives
 
Comment 

There's no bad guys here, there's just people trying to figure things out.

Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 8 Episode 7
1
Comment 

Rich and single, I wonder what he looks like - you rarely get the trifecta.

Singles & DatingLynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 8 Episode 1
1
Comment 

Lynette: "You think doing laundry is throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and getting clean ones out of the drawer."
Porter: "That's how dad does it?!"
Tom: "O-okay, let's stay on topic!"

Tom Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 7 Episode 15
 
Comment 

Tom's packin'! We're talkin' big, circus big. So big, he can drive in the car pool lane when he's alone. If it falls in the forest, believe me - it makes a sound. The Washington monument looks at it and says, 'I want to be you when I grow up!'

Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 7 Episode 9
2
Comment 

Baby. Number. Five. An entire basketball team has come out of me, so I'm officially too exhausted to care!

Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 7 Episode 1
1
Comment 

Gabrielle: "She's Romanian! When your people are being chased into Argentina by angry cossacks, maybe a sparkling toilet isn't that important."
Carlos: "How about you stick to fractions, and I'll teach Juanita geography?"

Carlos Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 6 Episode 7
 
Comment 

If you lay one finger on Ana, Carlos will knock every tooth out of your mouth, which will make you pretty darn popular in prison!

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 6 Episode 4
 
Comment 

Sister Mary: "Money can't buy happiness."
Gabrielle: "Well, sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep 'em from rioting."

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives
 
Comment 

Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house!

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 1 Episode 1
1
Comment 

I want him to have what he wants - if it's what I want.

Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 3 Episode 6
4
Comment 

Tom: "I never thought you'd want a fifth kid?"
Lynette: "I don't, but I didn't want the first four and they're starting to grow on me!"

Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 3 Episode 7
1
Comment 

Julie: "No man has seen you naked in years. Except your doctor."
Susan: "And he retired. I try not to take that personally."

Singles & DatingSusan Mayer in Desperate Housewives, Season 1 Episode 8
 
Comment 

Andrew: "Mom...?"
Bree: "Please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking! Now what is it, dear?"
Andrew: "Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide. There's no rush, she's not trying that hard..."

Andrew Van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives, Season 3 Episode 5
 
Comment 

Bree: "Well, the key is to not let them know what you're doing. This requires observation, cunning and manipulation."
Gabrielle: "Isn't it just easier to shut down your hoo-ha until he gives in?"

Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 5 Episode 23
 
Comment 

We've had sex 23 days straight. I've seen more ceiling than Michelangelo!

SexLynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 5 Episode 21
1
Comment 

Bree: "The man's a doctor, for heaven sakes. You've done better than I did."
Orson: "That was a bit of a drive-by."

Orson Hodge in Desperate Housewives, Season 5 Episode 10
 
Comment 

Mike: "You're kidding. We're playing an actual gig?"
Tom: "In front of people who aren't listening just because I pay their allowance? Well, this is fantastic!"

Tom Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 5 Episode 7
 
Comment 

That pine shields my view of the Purcell's backyard, and if you had ever seen Mr. Purcell sunbathe, you'd know exactly what that tree means to me.

Bree Van De Kamp in Desperate Housewives, Season 4 Episode 1
 
Comment 

Tom: "Are you as tired as I am?"
Lynette: "More. But I'm tougher, and I complain less."
Tom: "Not when you give birth - and you do that a lot."

Tom Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 3 Episode 16
1
Comment 

Gabrielle: "How about that? And here I was thinking some guy wants to murder me in my sleep."
Carlos: "The night's still young!"

Carlos Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 3 Episode 12
 
Comment 

Parker, I'm your mother. Mothers don't lie to their sons. Now go wash your hands or santa's not gonna bring you anything for christmas.

Mother, Santa ClausLynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 2 Episode 19
1
Comment 

We will find someone - someone who doesn't remember what they were doing the day lincoln was shot.

Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, Season 2 Episode 15
1
Comment 

Human beings are designed for many things, but loneliness isn't one of them.

Solitude & Being AloneMary Alice Young in Desperate Housewives, Season 1 Episode 19
8
Comment 

We all havee momeents of deespeeration. If we can face them head-on, that's when we find out, how strong we really are.

Mary Alice Young in Desperate Housewives, Season 1 Episode 1
7
Comment 

It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

SexGabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives, Season 1 Episode 1
1
Comment 

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care.

Love, Hatred, IndifferenceBree Van De Kamp in Desperate Housewives, Season 2 Episode 16
20
Comment 

Characters from Desperate Housewives