The best Quotes from Death to 2021

What did I learn in 2021? I learned that nobody learned anything in 2020.

The bizarre beliefs of hardcore anti-vaxxers means a significant number still insist on their right not to get the shot. Unfortunately, COVID still insists on his right to infect and kill them.

President Biden announces the full US withdrawal from Afghanistan by September 11th, freeing future history students from the tyranny of memorizing too many different dates.

Water, previously considered the opposite of fire, bursts into flames in the Gulf of Mexico.

Krispy Kreme offered free donuts to the vaccinated, so by 2022, 98% of the US population will either have COVID-19 or type II diabetes.

One of them was a bison who disguised himself as a human. He was probably protesting because bison still don't have the vote, do they? And even if they did, they'd never be able to hold the pencil in their hooves.

2021 opens on a note of optimism. A range of lip smacking new vaccines promises to transform the COVID-pandemic from an ongoing crisis to a repressed traumatic memory.

This was something else. A cross between a violent insurrection and a chimps' tea party. Terrifying and stupid, like a Muppet reboot of the Vietnam War.

This is the story of 2021, told by those who were there to viewers who were also there.

Tennyson: "I do not dance the wokey-cokey. So you can call me whatever you like."
Man: "Oh, I was just checking whether we should put OBE after your name."
Tennyson: "No, you should. You must, in fact."

Russia does not want other political groupings present near their homeland. That's not a hard thing to understand.

I said "yes".

I think I'm gonna cry the rest of the day. Best day ever!

Democracy isn't just there. We have to work for it together - every day.

The people want change. They want the candidate of the SPD to be the next German chancellor.

As the 20th anniversary of 9/11 approaches, the American people deserve to have a fuller picture of what their government knows about those attacks.

American troops cannot and should not be fighting in a war and dying in a war that Afghan forces are not willing to fight for themselves.

The Azzurri, led by coach Roberto Mancini, played together with great team spirit and personality. After 50 years, the trophy returns to Italy.

We had 15 long years with great moments and, of course, frustrating moments. My heart still beats for Germany.

Crazy times we're living in. I used to cough to hide a fart, now I'm farting to hide a cough.

I tested negative to Covid yesterday and positive today. No symptoms what so ever. Covid had the courage to challenge me. Bad idea.

I dare saying that in regard of protecting us from Corona, a mask that may be uncomfortable is way more effective than a tin foil hat.

I imagined the Apocalypse with zombies and pumpguns, not with washing hands and staying at home.

Remember last week when your grocery list wasn't just 'GRAB WHATEVER IS LEFT'?

My cat is really annoyed by me, now that I hang around in her apartment all day.

The government just decided: Every houshold hoarding more than 10 rolls of toilet paper is from now on regarded as a public toilet.

Many people didn't know, that just before the end, dinosaurs met each other at asteroid parties.

Why is there a shortage of toilet paper in times of Corona?
If someone sneezes, everyone around him sh*ts their pants.

Who's not gonna take the vaccine because they think it might be dangerous? Raise your hands! Now take that hand and slap yourself in the f*cking face!

Klepper: "What does that mean, 'Their DNA is wiped out'?"
Anti-Vax protester: "Like, their immunity is getting wiped out."
Klepper: "Okay, 'cause COVID wiped out 600.000 DNAs."
Anti-Vax protester: "Yes, of course!"

Day 619. Still waiting for the microchips they vaccinated into me to take my life or my free will.

I don't want my views bolstering the anti-vaxxers and triggering the vaxxed people. I want to be somebody who has an opinion, who shares it, who does research, but who is also open to hearing both sides.

I don't want to annoy our people. But I want to piss off everyone who isn't vaccinated. To the bitter end.

We all want normality back, but we don't get normality back by ourselves - we only get it as a community and that's why we need to get more people vaccinated. Every vaccination is a small step towards normality for everyone.

I was anti-vax for 7 years... then, I turned 8 and found out that the needle's not as bad as the stuff it protects me from.

Normally developing a vaccine takes up to 10 years. We developed a vaccine in just nine months. We've already begun a nationwide vaccination program, and we’re sending the vaccine all over the world. The world will benefit will benefit, and everybody’s calling to thank me.

The first few months of the year will be difficult until at least the spring. Hope is there in this vaccine that human ingenuity has brought about in just one year.

2000 was 20 years ago... which is really weird because 1980 was also 20 years ago.

Everytime someone says 2020 can't get worse the entire universe responds with "Bet".

Even as we reflect on this darkest of years, we can see light ahead.

Years from now - we're gonna be like: 2018, 2019, 2021, 2022...
"Hey, you missed..."
"No! We don't talk about that one anymore."

To date, we have not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election.

The good Lord didn't see fit to put oil and gas only where there are democratically elected regimes friendly to the United States.

Of course I'll be wearing a jacket in my appartment during winter to save gas and energy, while the Football World Cup is hosted in air-conditioned stadiums in the middle of the desert of Qatar. Everyone's doing their share!

Kaylee: "I think Jupiter is my favorite. Did you know it's the largest planet in our solar system? It's called the gas giant."
Mike: "Uh, that's not very nice."
Kaylee: "Pop-Pop, it's not that kind of gas."
Mike: "Oh, my mistake."

Natural gas is the best transportation fuel. It's better than gasoline or diesel. It's cleaner, it's cheaper, and it's domestic. Natural gas is 97 percent domestic fuel, North America.

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.

I will escape for every innocent woman whose life was stolen.