The best Quotes by Dean Martin

The best Quotes by Dean Martin

Dean Paul Martin (born Dino Paul Crocetti; June 7, 1917 – December 25, 1995) was an American singer, actor, and comedian. One of the most popular entertainers of the mid-20th century, he was nicknamed "The King of Cool." Martin gained his career breakthrough together with comedian Jerry Lewis, billed as Martin and Lewis, in 1946.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

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Alcohol Funny Quotes

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California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5

California New Mexico

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

Lex Luthor in Superman

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

Gloria Swanson

1

Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

Linus Torvalds

California Helsinki

The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

Joan Didion

Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.

Silk Spectre in Watchmen -

1

Justice California

I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.

Los Angeles California

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 11

2

You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.

Austin Powers in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

England & Great Britain California

It's the edge of the world
And all of Western civilization
The sun may rise in the east
At least it's settled in a final location
It's understood that Hollywood sells Californication

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication, Album: Californication

1

I drank when I was pregnant with you, you turned out fine. There's everybody saying 'don't drink, don't smoke'. I swear - Texas is turning into California.

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 1 Episode 9

California Texas

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Woody Allen

Television California Trash TV

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to California - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Biden has won so many times in Michigan now.
He's legally required to change his name to Ohio State.

There's nothing wrong with Ohio
Except the snow and the rain

Bowling for Soup - Ohio (Come Back to Texas), Album: A Hangover You Don’t Deserve

East Coast style + Midwest charm = Ohio girl

Coming from southeast Ohio it's a very impoverished area and the poverty rate is almost two times the national average.

Joe Burrow - December 2019

Ohio girls - the kind of girl you can take home to meet your mom, but can outdrink your dad.

Home is where the heart is and the heart is in Ohio.

If you don't like the weather in Southern Ohio, just wait 15 minutes.

Ohio girls have that inner glow that makes them more beautiful than any other girl.

If I were giving a young man advice as to how he might succeed in life, I would say to him, "pick out a good father and mother, and begin life in Ohio."

Wilbur Wright

In Northeast Ohio, nothing is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have.

LeBron James

Dave Chappelle

As a boy, because I was born and raised in Ohio, about 60 miles north of Dayton, the legends of the Wrights have been in my memories as long as I can remember.

Neil Armstrong

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Ohio - and that's pretty much the same thing.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18

11

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones - Season 1 Episode 2

9

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

8

Alcohol Drugs Marijuana & Weed

'That's the problem with drinking', I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

Charles Bukowski in Women

6

The damage has been done. All that's left to do now is drink until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 18

6

Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 6 Episode 3

6

It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.

John Osborne

5

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Ernest Hemingway

5

Alcohol Intelligence

"There's perfect men around every corner", said God an made the Earth round.

5

Funny Quotes Singles & Dating

Working out makes people more comfortable with their naked bodies. So does Tequila.

3

Funny Quotes Tequila Being naked

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

George Carlin

2

Funny Quotes Santa Claus Bad Girls

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

2

Smoking Funny Quotes

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

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