Zeitgeist: "I spit acidic vomit. Do you want me to demonstrate?"
Deadpool: "No. Listen, we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?"
Kids give us a chance to be better than we used to be.Deadpool - 2, by Vanessa Carlysle
Is that a fanny pack? I used to have one of those in 1990-never.Deadpool - 2, by Deadpool
You're so dark! Are you sure you're not from the DC Universe?Deadpool - 2, by Deadpool
I can't protect you. With this collar on, my superpower is just unbridled cancer. Give me a bow and arrow, I'm basically Hawkeye.Deadpool - 2, by Deadpool
You're a lot smarter than I look.Deadpool - 2, by Deadpool
I want a boy! Or a little girl! Definitely one or the other!Deadpool - 2, by Deadpool
You don't need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you.Love, HerosDeadpool, by Deadpool
Ajax: "Fine. Fists."
Deadpool: "Oh, sounds like your last Saturday night."
You look like Freddy Krueger face-fed a topographical map of Utah.UtahDeadpool, by Weasel
The worst part about cancer isn't what it does to you, but what it does to the people you love.CancerDeadpool, by Wade Wilson
If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?Deadpool, by Wade Wilson
Vanessa: "Three minutes."
Wade: "Deal. What do we do with the remaining 2 minutes, 37 seconds?"
Wade: "What can I get for $275 and a Yogurtland rewards card?"
Vanessa: "Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want. And a low-fat dessert."
Wade: "Rough childhood?"
Vanessa: "Rougher than yours. Daddy left before I was born."
Wade: "Daddy left before I was conceived."
Vanessa: "Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?"
Wade: "Where else do you put one out?"
Vanessa: "I was molested."
Wade: "Me too. Uncle."
Vanessa: "Uncles. They took turns."
Wade: "I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet, which also happens to be my..."
Vanessa: "...your bedroom. Lucky. I slept in a dishwasher box."
Wade: "You had a dishwasher. I didn't even know sleep. It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn."
You may be wondering, 'why the red suit?' Well, that's so bad guys can't see me bleed. This guy's got the right idea. He wore the brown pants.Deadpool, by Deadpool
Love is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world tastes like Daffodil Daydream. So you gotta hold onto love. Tight. And never let go. Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga.LoveDeadpool, by Deadpool